Note to Tom Brady: Condoms: So easy even a football player can use them.
My favorite line from Little Miss Sunshine was when Olive took the stage at the pageant.
She said, "I'd like to dedicate this [her dance] to my grandpa because he taught me the moves."
The creepy John Mark Carr-esque announcer said, "Aww, that's sweet. Where is your grandpa?"
Olive said, "In the trunk of our car."
I was watching the Sarah Silverman show yesterday and Sarah stole batteries from a store and ran. The police were chasing her and they gave out her description over the radio,
then added, "The suspect is NOT black. Repeat. The subject is NOT black."
My gf was complaining that she can't get any dates. I said, "Get yourself a MySpace and pretend
you're a 13 year old girl. You'll have to beat them off with a stick.......and a taser."
I bought a bag of those Quaker Rice Cakes yesterday.
It's like eating a chunk of styrofoam dipped in caramel. Yum!
On the bag, it says, "..these Quaker Rice cakes are a smart choice because they are fat free and have 0g trans fat."They neglect to add that third, fourth, and fifth ingredients are sugar and sugar derivatives.
Well the Leprechaun traps were a hit......with the dog, who lapped up all the honey about five seconds after we put the traps on the floor.
I didn't realize that Female Offspring #8 continued to refill the traps until Holly crawled upstairs with a bellyache.
We also caught a host of ants, thank you very much. I can only assume the were Irish ants.
Disclaimer: No Leprechauns were harmed in the making of these traps..........but the offspring did yank my last nerve.