Friday, March 16, 2007

slippery when wet

UGH. We went from two days of 70 degree weather to back down to the 20's and 30's. Yuck.

I've noticed that good looking girls are more willing to date fat guys, than good looking guys are willing to date fat girls.
Mr. G's two nephews are REALLY overweight. I'm not talking 25 or 30 pounds. I'm talking maybe 100 pounds.
But neither one of them has problems getting GOOD LOOKING thin girls.
Now, and let me set the record straight, I know full well the girls are using them,
but it's interesting that a lot of chicks are willing to go this route, while most guys aren't.

I watched "Thank You For Smoking" yesterday and I loved it. I'm giving it a 5 out of 5.
It's interesting to see how business and the government use people (and each other) for their own ends.
Let me just say that Sam Elliot as the Marlboro Man was thee PERFECT CHOICE of actors for that role.
Some of my favorite lines were: "After seeing the Kent State shootings.
Bobby signed up for the National Guard so he, too, could shoot college students."
One grade school girl reading her essay on why the United States has the greatest government
in the world:"..freedom is really important because otherwise, we couldn't be free."
Ahh, I remember writing those sorts of essays.
Next up: Most Dangerous Car, bite me. You knew cops would come into play sooner or later.

Last night I stopped in at the hospital to see Dad, whose been holed up there for a week and a half now.
The nurse came in to do a skin check--to make sure he wouldn't later sue their asses for bed sores, I'm sure--and I
asked her if she wanted me to leave the room.
She said no she could manage with me being there and proceeded to whip the covers off of my dad.
Unfortunately when dad had gotten into the bed earlier his gown had ridden up around his waist. Oh, and did I mention Dad was GOING COMMANDO?!
"My eyes! My eyes!"

Yesterday I received a package of pork chops from South's neighbor, the one who took me
to the pig farm. I thought, "Wow, that was really sweet of him," UNTIL I read the attached note, "Lassie 2007-2007"
I started crying, remembering all the good times we had: dancing to "Boogie Hooves" while we
scuffed up South's hardwood floors, Male Offspring #8 and I laughing while Lassie tried to eat South's clothes, and
last but not least, watching Lassie eat slop off of South's good dishes.
(Ooops, I don't think I told him about that one. Oh well, if he hasn't commented by now, he didn't notice.)
I immediately called his neighbor. I said, "What happened to my sweet baby, Lassie?"
"Don't worry. He died of natural causes."
"He did? Let me guess? He had high cholesterol from being a walking slab of bacon?"
"Nope, slaughtered by the meat industry for profit. Don't git much more natural than that."
So last night I ate Lassie and some butter dipped broccoli and these fabulous little parslied red pataters.
BUT I DID NOT ENJOY HER!! (I did, however, enjoy the fabulous little parslied pataters.)


Rick Bell said...

Do I really want to picture your dad going COMMANDO? My mom was just in the hospital a couple of weeks ago. Had that little scenario played out I may have never been able to perform my husbandly duties again... who knows, that might have made my wife's day.

Loving your blog... I'll need to figure out Typepad so I can add links to my sidebase...

Rick Bell

Mushy said...

It's a shame they didn't think to use those new artifical limb things on Lassie ( then you wouldn't have had to eat her all at once!

The commando thing is frightening even to me...saw my step-dad that way a time or two - a terrible way to remember him.