Thursday, March 15, 2007

pray the gay away

Arthur writes: Goddess, I love your material... Read it every day. U take care, u hear? Yep, I am southern....."
Thanks so much for taking the time to tell me that, Arthur. I'll have to get your
address in case I break down the next time I going to South's place, I can bunk with you...or if I
find I've *cough*accidentally *cough*spent all my motel money on scratch off lottery tickets...LOL!

Did you read about the Russian mother who was sick of sharing her apartment with her son so she hired someone to kill him?
I'm sorry, but sometimes it's just easier to kill someone than it is to serve them with an eviction notice. Your mom's Russia, Alex. If she starts acting weird, get the hell out!

I love the Bahamavention commercial with the guy who yells. They tell him why
he needs a vacation in the Bahamas and then the lady says, "And then there's the yelling."

I stopped at Rite Aid last night after work and I got one of those chatty cashiers, who try too hard.
Instead of just making general conversation, they feel the need to comment on everything you purchase.
And that's fine, IF you purchase interesting things. By the time she got to the bottom of my basket I was sorry I didn't buy a gun and bullets so I could have put myself out of my misery. I bought large index cards, and she ACTUALLY said, "Oooh these are really nice index cards. I wish I had index cards like this." And I said, "Aisle 6. Knock yourself out." I mean, WTH? We're talking index cards, not a BMW.
At ninety eight cents, it's not like they're are out of her affordability range.

Just to show you how misleading magazine blurbs are, I bought the latest issue of Women's Weekly and on the cover it says, "Get a $21,000 tax refund!" Here's there FABULOUS strategy for doing so: Grow your tax refund by depositing it directly into a bank account or investment account. IF it earns 8%, it could turn into tens of thousands by the time you retire, says tax attorney Julian Block. In fact, a $2,000 refund would grow to more than $21, 000 in thirty years!" What a bunch of crap.

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