In Sunday's Parade, Marilyn Vos SmartyPants says the following in response to a "do pets really know their names?" question: "No. The repetition of the pet's 'name' merely provokes a learned response, depending on how the owner vocalizes the name." She pretty much stated you could call them AnYTHiNG and they'd come to you. So I decided to test that theory out. I wanted to believe that MY animals knew their name. I saw Stupid Cat sitting in the hallway and I said, "Oh, peanut butter sannnndwich" in the same sing-song voice I call her, and son of a bitch if she didn't come running towards me purring loudly. I figured, "Well, consider the source. We all know poor Stupid Cat isn't the brightest Crayola in the box. Buddha's pretty smart, I'll try it with him."
So I sat near Buddha and said, "Oh, peanut butter sannnndwich." He ignored me, so again I said, "Oh, peanut butter sannnndwich." He opened one eye, looked at me and said, "Look, beotch. I'm trying to sleep here. Let me alone and freaking STOP calling me 'peanut butter sandwich'. Do I look like Stupid Cat?" Damn. Who knew he was such a prima donna?
I love the traffic stop I saw on TV that took place in Douglas County, Georgia. The chick blows through three stops signs on
Easter Sunday night. She refuses to sign the ticket and when the officer decides to arrest her, she
starts bitching about how it's Easter Sunday and she hasn't been to church yet. Now what would Jesus do, Officer? I love it.
One more use for a Hoveround!!
I tried watching Deal or No Deal last night to check out the firemen, but I don't see what all the excitement is about.
There doesn't seem to be any skill or knowledge involved whatsoever, just randomly choosing and opening cases.
I thought it was kinda boring.
My favorite fireman was the one in the first round who
fooled everyone with his grimace when he really had a case with $2 in it.