Friday, March 23, 2007

good morning USA i got a feeling that it's going to be a wonderful day

Chris Rock, "For those people who keep saying 'is America ready for a black President?'
I say, 'why not? we just had a retarded one'."

I forgot all about the "Law of Made in China Underwear Averages" when I said I now owned 15 pair of underwear. The Law states that when you buy a pack of underwear made in China there is a greater than 50% chance that only half of them will fit. This is because the Chinese are simply GUESSING at what a size 10, 12, 14, 16 (take your pick) sized ass looks like. They need to get some American models for Pete freaking sake. We don't all eat brown rice and we're not all size 2, damn it! In my four pack of undies, one MAYBE two fit....which would explain the pile of eight perfectly good, never been worn underwear in the back of my drawer that's been there for about two years. So now I own about 10 pair. Woooo hooooo!

Here are the "Are You Smarter Than" questions:
1. 3rd grade astronomy: On which planet would a person weigh the most? Mercury, Saturn or Jupiter
2. 2nd Social studies: Which US President is featured on the face of the nickel?
3. 4th grade math: If the diameter of a circle is four inches what is the radius
4. 5th grade US geography: true or false? ohio shares a border with illnois
5. 5th grade physical sciences: Density describes the mass of an object divided by what?
6. 4th grade grammar: What is the adverb in the following sentence "my father snored loudly and it kept my mom awake."
7. 1st grade spelling: there is an animal called a yacckk (deliberately misspelled), how many letters in the word yacckk?
8. 3rd grade animal science: a giant panda's natural habitat is on what continent?
9. 2nd grade measurements: how many months of the year have 31 days?
10. 1st grade world geography: what is the only continent that is also a country?

6 comments:

BRUNO said...

The 10-odd pairs would make good dust-cloths, or maybe shop-rags, unless they're that silky-ass kind! Hey, I got an idea---link 'em together, and, presto! You've got a "custom-designer" bra!(Maybe the dog can wear 'em!)

Mushy said...

Little known fact...Bush has a Master's degree from Harvard and scored higher than Kerry. He also can fly a fighter jet, Kerry can sort of drive a boat.

He may not be the best public speaker, but he ain't dumb as some tinkle people he is.

*Goddess* said...

Nope, Bruno, I'm strictly a boring, ole cotton undies gal. The lacy ones I bought the other day are the first lacy ones I own.

I don't know, Mushy, Bush isn't looking so doggone intelligent as of late. Not that Kerry looked that clever. That was the worst part about that election. BOTH candidates sucked.

Anonymous said...

>10. 1st grade world geography: what is the only continent that is also a country?

I'm guessing you're thinking of Oceania.

*Goddess* said...

How about Australia?

Worn Underwear said...

I have some lacy underwear but starting to think that satin panties are a lot sexier.