Monday, March 19, 2007

calories in calories out

Mushy sent me this, but I don't see my favorite position "over the side of the couch while watching COPS...." LOL!
Thanks, Mushy. I love it!

Calories Burned During Sex:

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent.................................12 Calories
Without her consent...........................2,187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands.................................. 8 Calories
With one hand....................................12 Calories
With your teeth.................................485 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection..................................6 Calories
Without an erection ...........................3,315 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary...................................12 Calories
69 lying down...............................78 Calories
69 standing up..............................812 Calories
Wheelbarrow...............................216 Calories
Doggy Style..................................326 Calories
Italian chandelier......................... .2,912 Calories

ORGASMS:
Real.......................................112 Calories
Fake.........................................1,315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging... ............................18 Calories
Getting up immediately.........................36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately...816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
20-29 years......................................36 Calories
30-39 years......................................80 Calories
40-49 years.....................................124 Calories
50-59 years...................................1,972 Calories
60-69 years...................................7,916 Calories
70 and over........................Results are still pending

DRESSING AFTERWARDS
Calmly.........................................32 Calories
In a hurry.......................................98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door...... . ...5,218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door..........13,521 Calories

Results may vary.

3 comments:

Mushy said...

LOL...I knew you'd post it!

It made me laugh all over again!

*Goddess* said...

Too funny not to post;)

Loving Annie said...

snicker....