Friday, March 02, 2007

any calories in sex?

Ok, this is what I dreamt last night. I dreamt that I was working for a man who owned a chocolate factory. (Shuddup)
We were having a celebration for him and I was his personal assistant. We were all standing in the factory watching a specially made chocolate cake work it's way down the conveyor belt to him. Then we all listened to him give a brief speech and we cheered for him. He, along with the rest of the staff, got in line for some food and I excused myself to get something from my car--I was really leaving. One of this man's handsome, rich sons came after me and asked me if I was leaving. I said, no, that I was just getting something out of my car and he said, good, he would see me later. He was really interested in me, but I didn't want to get involved with him. The next morning he was angry with me because I left him hanging. Yes, I dream in romance novel form. There ya go. I love the way my subconcious worked my two favorites: chocolate and cake into the damn dream!

Well, Howard K. Stern *must have* sold his soul to the devil. Entertainment Tonight is running ads about how they're the "only one" to take people inside the funeral, and the "only one" who will be graveside. They're as disgusting as Stern is. All I can say is that some celebrity better fuck up big time or ET isn't going to have anything to talk about. Every commercial they've had since ANS died began with "Anna Nicole Smith blahblah how we've exploited the situation."

I decided to begin counting calories--since pretty much nothing else seems to be working--and I am STUNNED at how bad I am at estimating how many calories I'm consuming.
For instance, I bought a box of popcorn shrimp. I'm thinking "it's fish, for pete's sake. how many calories can it have?" I put half of the box onto a cookie sheet and figured out that I would be consuming 700 calories. And that was baked. God forbid had they been fried.
Hell, i'm only eating 1200 calories and this is just my lunch! I also have a very bad habit of eating one thing for a meal. Like I wasn't hungry for shrimp, salad, veggie. I only wanted shrimp.

I'm at a loss sometimes to figure out what goes through people's heads.
The nephew of one of my co-workers is a registered sex offender, and has been since 1999.
He and his wife just had a baby. WTF? Why in the world would you risk bringing a child into a relationship
when you're married to an asshole who obviously can't control his sexual urges?
I'm going to ASSume she's staying with him because of the "security" factor.
Although how secure you can be living with a perverted felon is beyond me.

Answers to last night's Fifth Grader q's are:
1. 4
2. True
3. Ursa Major
4. "LY"
5. 15
6. Femur
7. Sodium
8. 70%
9. None
10. Polar Bears
11. 5: Alaska, Washington, Hawaii, Oregon, California
12. False

1 comment:

Dustin said...

Bah! I remembered Hawaii but forgot Alaska! :P