Sunday, February 04, 2007

might as well face it i'm addicted to diet pepsi

I am grateful every day that my diet Pepsi addiction is NOT a sex addiction. If it were, my self talk would go a little something like this:

"When I wake up tomorrow morning. I am going to be STRONG. I am NOT going to go trolling for strange men to have sex with. I am going to remain focused on the changes I want to make in my life. I am NOT going to sleep with men who don't love me and don't care about what makes me happy! I am going to focus on good health and how great I feel about myself not having sex for sex's sake. I am NOT going to fuck strangers, I'm NOT going to fuck strangers, I'm NOT going to fuck strangers..."

Five seconds after I get out of bed, "Hey, stranger! Wanna fuck?"

SIGH.

8 comments:

Mushy said...

Am I considered a stranger?

Better not stop Pepsi cold turkey. I had a headache for a week when I swore off Diet Mountain Dew!

Goddess said...

Hell, I can't even get off of it for a DAY, let alone a WEEK!

Ron Southern said...

Damn druggies. Ain't y'all got no self-control?

Anyway, listen honey, I KNOW I'm a stranger! Knowhattamean? Nudge, nudge?

Ron Southern said...

Who did your artwork? Some drunk passing by with upholstery on her/his mind?

Goddess said...

My artwork was apparently done by someone who sleeps on a really, really tall but narrow couch, Ron...

And hey, I said I WASN'T a sex addict! But if I should ever turn into one, I'll keep y'all in mind....

Cherrie said...

Somehow, I think a sex addiction would be a hell of a lot more fun than a Diet Pepsi addiction.

Could that be experience speaking?

Now I think I'll go downstairs and get a Diet Pepsi.

Goddess said...

Probably cheaper, too...

BRUNO said...

To me, diet Pepsi tastes like goat-piss! I, myself, prefer a somewhat more shitty-taste, such as, diet Coke Zero, with a bag of Lay's! Makes me belch like a ruptured moose!

A drunken upholstery artist---Now that's original Rat for ya'!