Wednesday, February 14, 2007

bear with me

Overtime Hawg called me yesterday and told me that her husband
would be over to shovel the sidewalks for me at work. I'm like, "WTF? Her old man is in his SEVENTIES!
What kind of an ASS would I be to sit here and let him do MY work when I'm younger and healthier?"
Not like shoveling the sidewalks is going to kill me.
Wow. Wonder how many people have uttered those immortal words seconds before they were hit with a massive heart attack?
I said, "No, I can do it myself. I don't want him coming out in this weather and there's no reason I can't do it myself."
Especially considering I'm 30 years younger than he is! Before I even have a chance to ponder
why she's suddenly being so generous, she informed me that her sister-in-law is going to die next week, so she'll need me to work for her a couple days.
Nice to know she wanted to do something for me out of the goodness of her heart, and not because she was trying to butter me up to hit me up for yet another fucking favor.
She said she's in a hospital in Pittsburgh, brain dead as of yesterday (the S-i-S, not OT) and they're removing the life support.
She reiterated about 8 times that the funeral would be next week. NOT this week.
Interesting sidenote: this is the same sister who has been dying since Christmas 2005.
Now I'm going to sit her and wonder how she knows exactly when someone is going to die....

I was watching a show on Animal Planet the other day about the first year of Tai Shan, a panda at the National Zoo in Washington.
At one point, it showed his mother lying on her back, eating a huge fruitsicle.
The panda was about 7 or 8 months old at that time and he was crouched near her foot.
When he saw the fruitsicle and began to climb towards it, his mother batted him away gently,
but persistently with her foot. The woman who was caring for the bears said pandas are notoriously stingy
when it comes to their treats, even with their offspring. This made me think that maybe I was
a panda in a former life. How many times a day do I yell, "Get your own damn whiskey!" to the offspring? Awww, the joys of motherhood.


Ron Southern said...

If you are as ignoble as you say, how come you're nice to me?

Oh, well, everybody tells me how sweet and nice my mother is, but I know better. Relationships make a big difference in perception.

Rebecca said...

I'm making up for lost time, trying to worm my way into Heaven, Ron...

Rebecca said...

Besides, Ron, I'm always nice to people I didn't give birth to;)

Steven Novak said...

Pandas are such fuckers. ;)


Rebecca said...

Ooooh sure. The damn Muppets you like, but pandas are fuckers! It ain't fair, I tells ya.

Mushy said...

You're just like W. C. Fields - "Lookin' for a loop hole!"

The Enforcer said...

That story about OT reminds me of the old show MASH where Klinger had all those excuse notes from his family and Col. Blake reads em off one by one:
Mother dying,
Mother pregnant,
Brother dying,
Sister pregnant,
Mother dying sister pregnant. Brother dying Mother pregnant.
Half family dying, half pregnant.
I loved that episode...........

Rebecca said...

LOL! I remember that episode, Frank. My husband and I were just talking about MASH the other day. We both loved the original cast, when it was McLean Stevenson and Wayne Rogers. Their replacements never seemed to be as good as they were.