Wednesday, January 17, 2007

sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, most times you choose between the two

If anybody has used the Free File feature on the IRS site for their Federal Income Taxes, would you please email me? I have a question about it...

Jay sends these hilarious REDNECK PICKUP LINES:
Did you fart? cuz you blew me away.
Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special. (For some reason, I can hear South using that line...)
My Love fer you is like diarrhea . I can't hold it in.
Do you have a liberry card? cuz I'd like to sign you out.
Is there a mirror in yer pants? cuz I can see myself in em.
If you was a tree and I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole.
Ok, this is my favorite: You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a
light switch away.
I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.
Annnnd my second favorite: Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

As if boring us for three hours wasn't criminal enough, I just heard on
TV that the Today Show is adding yet ANOTHER hour of inane coverage of incredibly stupid topics to their show.
Ooooo, maybe I can finally find out the right way to clean fake flowers. I'm riveted to my chair in anticipation....

Oh, this is FABULOUS, people. I come back to work, JANUARY FREAKING SEVENTEENTH and Overtime Hawg has not lifted on finger to take down ANY of the Christmas decorations. I was so pissed. When I was invited to her house and didn’t go earlier in the month, co-worker #1 did. Then O.H. told her she should begin taking down all the decorations and HELLO! she felt obligated to say ‘yes’ because she’d just been to O.H’s house. I could see that coming a mile away. For once, I delegated. I took down some things, left specific things O.H. had to do and told co-worker #2 what I expected of her. [I don’t have to worry about co-worker #1. She and I do the majority of the work without being asked.] Co-worker #2 has everyone so well trained that they’re afraid to even ASK her to do anything. I said to my boss, “it’s not fair to the rest of us that she does nothing, so I’m going to ask her to do blah blah,” and I did. My boss immediately said, “Oh she won’t do it.“ Ugh. Sometimes I wonder if I even HAVE a boss. I asked Co-worker #2 by telling her what I did first, then said, “how about taking care of blah.” I knew she wasn’t happy about it but I figured fuck it. It’s part of the job. You’re paid to do the job so do it.

I have GOT to stop hanging out with crafty chicks. Great segue, huh? A few weeks ago, my gf and I bought photo boxes at Michaels. They were plain cardboard boxes. Mine was pink, hers was light green. Mine is still pink. (Hell, mine is still in the damn bag.) When I stopped over at her place earlier, she pulled out the box and it was all freaking decorated with pictures of leaves, trees and flowers, and cutesy, earthy sayings. I’m like, “Oh come the fark ON already!”

I love this headline from Sunday’s Parade Mag, “Why Everyone Really Likes Sally Field.” Hell, I didn’t even know we did.

I’ve seen two eps of “The Knights of Prosperity” and while the show is ok, I’m wondering how they’re going to sustain it for an entire season….or more. It was formerly called “Let’s Rob Mick Jagger” and Mick and David Letterman are co-exec producers. I think this premise would have been better as a movie. I just don’t think it has enough substance for a series. Speaking of series with substance, Men in Trees continues to knock out good shows week after week. I like the cast--although I’m not wild about new addition Justine Bateman--and I love the writing. I love Ty Olsson aka “Plow Guy” and Currie Graham in his new role as Sheriff Celia‘s “Supervisior,” too. I’ve also gotten into “Scrubs” a little more. I still don’t get the dynamic of a lot of the relationships, which made it difficult at first, I like the humor mixed with seriousness. I do wish they’d stop doing voiceovers in tv shows, though.

I hate that H&R Block commercial where the guy tells his wife they’re being audited and she says, “Let’s ask the box what we should do.” Ok, as if that isn’t LAME enough, the husband then says, “What’s it saying?” I really dislike advertising that talks down to people.

I kinda have to laugh when Senators are telling Condelezza Rice that they’ve been lied to. Well, now they know how we feel…

WOW. It’s scary how accurate these things are. From my horror scope for today: “Tonight: surf the internet and watch tv.” Damn!

On a serious note, Mr. G has an eye appointment next Wednesday, so please keep a good thought for him. He’s experiencing some problems and that concerns him (and me!) majorly because of his diabetes.


Mushy said...

I'm use It's $14.95, but easy online use, and quick pay back (if I get anything).

Goddess said...

So I don't have to buy software? I just file through that site? How do you do the W2 forms?

Fathairybastard said...

I still go to H&R. That way if I get jacked up by the IRS they go with me.

Didn't ya love when Boxer told rice "you don't have any children". Proud as hell of our leaders.

Goddess said...

Yeah, I loved the way Limbaugh said Boxler was "hitting below the ovaries," as if it's not even permissible to point out the obvious anymore--that the woman doesn't have kids...

Goddess said...

I had a guy doing my taxes, FHB, but he refuses to do the e filing and I'm waiting like six damn weeks to get my $. Hell, for that I might as well do it myself.

Fathairybastard said...

Loved the redneck lines. Hilarious.