Tuesday, January 23, 2007

free to do what i want any old time

Good news/bad news with Direct TV. The picture is so much better than with Dish, and we don't even have a high def tv,
so I can only imagine how much clearer/crisper it would be on a high def set.
Bad news is the new DVD player doesn't work. I have to get what's
called an "RF Modulator," and the installer said that SHOULD work.
Installer dude was nice, except for one thing. He kept saying I would have to "read the manuals." Excuse me?! I prefer my own, more scientific method of bugging the hell out of people who have already read the manual.

One feature on Direct TV that I really like is called "Autotune." This comes in handy for
people like me, who have minds like swiss cheese. I don't know how many times I'll be sitting here in the living room
working on my laptop, waiting to watch a show, then I totally forget it's on. With "autotune," you set the program to a list and it will switch the channel automatically to that program when it begins. And yes, I've already memorized Court TV's channel number on Direct TV. Yippee!
I'm also anxious to see "Dirt" and "Rescue Me" on FX. Funny, but I'd forgotten how often FX shows Shallow Hal until I began to read their lineup....

I was watching Beach Patrol last night and during one segment, they said the cops were having a problem
with "a very large man." I often wonder how people feel after hearing themselves
described like that when they see the show later on tv. Nothing like totally humiliating people. It's not bad enough that they refer to him as drunk? "Big, fat drunk" makes for more interesting tv, I guess.

Here's an interesting new feature on Court TV's new primetime blog, called, "I Confess."
They want people to tell riveting but non-pornographic (damn!) personal confessions.
It's at times like this that I resent leading a boring life. What could I confess? The time my dad busted me for stealing
a Powerhouse candy bar? No one would have been the wiser had I just
EATEN the damn thing instead of walking around with it, bragging to my (not so trusty) siblings.
The Girl From U.N.C.L.E. would have NEVER slipped up like that! Speaking of which, remember that ep
where April Dancer got stuck in a giant toaster? Oh, that was memorable tv. Oooo! Maybe I could talk about the time I borrowed my gf's Osmond Brother's album, then told her I returned it, even though I hadn't. (In my defense, it was that one good album that they had, Homemade. Bet ya didn't know they had a good album, huh? Alas, my conscience got the best of me and I gave it back. Sigh. Fuck Catholicism!) Good grief. I've been a fucking thief in the making since I was 8...

I saw the Jenny McCarthy/Weight Watchers commercial again last night, and she insinuated
that she began WW after she brought her son home from the hospital. I began to wonder
when she had that kid because she's been dating Jim Carey for a while now.
I looked online and found out that she had him in 2002!
And we're just NOW hearing about this weight loss?! I thought it was funny that she said, "The first week I
lost three pounds, the second week I lost three pounds. Six months later..."
I'm thinking "yeah six months later you're still thinking about those two weeks it took you to lose all your baby weight..."


The Enforcer said...

Goddess, welcome to the world of Direct TV. That autotune will become very annoying when your wife has 2 shows scheduled to tape at such n such a time but you are totally engrossed watching a 3rd channel and the damned thing pops up telling you its gonna change the channel on you unles you change the chanel in the next 5 seconds. Of course your wife has hidden the remote so you cant do that and ARRRRRRGH
(OK I got a little nutso there for a second but I'm back now) Like I said welcome to direct tv, enjoy

Goddess said...

MUHAHAHAH! *eggcellent* I can interrupt Mr. G's boxing and UFC crap with autotune! LOL...thanks for that tip;)

Cherrie said...

I've had DirecTV for about eight years now, and they've never told me about Autotune! When I call them about upgrades they switch me to the service desk. I don't have a problem with the service, I just want a DVR, four set boxes and all that cool stuff they give the newbies . . .

Goddess said...

I'm surprised you can't get a DVR, but you know there's a monthly fee for that, even for newbies...which is why we didn't get it. Bummer, because it would have been sooo much simplier than the vcr!
You need to quit their service for a few months, then go back as a new customer...LOL!