Monday, January 29, 2007

climbing into bed with me



I do not understand kids these days. I spent the better part of 45 minutes last night
trying to convince Female Offspring #2 to attend a free bridal showcase for brides to be and their moms.
I pointed out that they would have different dress designs to look at, free samples of wedding cakes and cookies,
bridal consultants on hand to chat, and she could even register to win a spa vacation. But she refused.
Finally, I yelled, "I am trying to spend time with you! What is your problem?!"
She screamed, "I'M NOT GOING TO PRETEND I'M GETTING MARRIED SO YOU CAN GET FREE CAKE AND COOKIES!!"
Fine. Be that way. I'll stay home and drown my sorrows in a bowl of white cake batter.
SalmOnella be damned. Nobody loves me anyway...whaaaaaaaaaaaa!

I had to lay in the snow for fifteen minutes last night, but it was sooooo worth it in the end. I got at least four good
snowball shots at Booger McSnotty, the kid who sold me the crappy chocolate bars with so called almonds the Saturday before last.
When I was out letting Holly walk me, I saw him going up the street.
I chained Holly and lay in wait, knowing that what goes up must come down.
When he came past the trailer, I hit him with a volley of snowballs until he started screaming that I was trying to murder him. Oh, for Pete's sake.
Seven year olds and their drama.

OMG. I just realized we get the Fox Reality Channel now. MORE COPS *and* Real Stories of the Highway Patrol!!
Wheeeeeeeee! Now here's the kicker: I've hardly watched the damn tv since we
had Direct TV installed. I was sick last week, so I was in bed several nights by 9 p.m.

2 comments:

Cherrie said...

The snowball attack must have been a sight!

And what's wrong with a little harmless daydreaming at the bridal show? Unless the cake and cookies were the real draw . . .

Goddess said...

Of course they were the real draw, Cherrie!