Saturday, December 16, 2006

why am i such a misfit i am not just a nitwit they can't fire me i quit seems i don't fit in

Crossing my fingers that Adrienne Arpel's family gives her the gift of (even MORE) plastic surgery for Christmas.

Mr. G called me at work yesterday afternoon to tell me that the plastic guard on the
freezer door shelf had broken and a bag of frozen grapes came spilling out.
[Yes, these are the breathlessly exciting kinds of calls I get from my sweetie pie.]
I said, "Oh, shit. I just scrubbed that floor last night."
He said, "Don't worry. I got it all cleaned up."
(This is what I usually refer to as 'famous last words'.)
I walked into the kitchen last night, took one step onto the linoleum and my entire foot stuck to the floor.
Took me right back to good old days of porno theaters....
So was I angry about the mess? Good gosh, who wouldn't be?
Did I rant and rave about it? Well, golly wouldn't it try the patience of a saint?
Could I possibly--sorry. Apparently Donald Rumsfeld has influenced me more than I thought.

I had to zip into the grocery store before work this morning and when I was in the paper products aisle,
I noticed this on the side of a package of double roll toilet paper: "12 double rolls = 24 single rolls"
So now I must ask: are we so damn dumb in this country that we can't figure this out for ourselves?!

I saw an ad for the Kenny Rogers holiday tour, and I have a question: can you legitimately bill your spouse as a "special guest star"? Probably for tax write-off purposes...

6 comments:

Cherrie said...

Dumb? Don't you love it when the store puts soda pop on sale, 3 boxes for $8? Or two boxes of ceral for $6.50? What, do they have to make grocery shopping into a math test?

Goddess said...

The latest thing in our area is this 10 for $10 thing and you would be AMAZED at how many people think that sort of stuff is a buy. My co-worker just pointed out the "great deal" on jello--10 for $10. I'm like, "A DOLLAR a box is GOOD for jello?!" LOL

Anonymous said...

Good Saturday morning Goddess. Just wanted to say hi --
Anne E

Goddess said...

Hey, Anne! Hope all is well with you;)

Bruno said...

Yeah, unfortunately, there ARE some in this country who are that damned-dumb that they need it explained to them as such, let alone the fact these same college grads can't read or write their own names!

Ain't as funny when I take a "serious-streak", now, am I?

Goddess said...

My boss just got finished telling me how she purchased something that was $10 for 25. "..so they were only .25 cents a box!" Umm, really???