Sunday, December 17, 2006

i'm dreaming of a white christmas, just like the ones i used to know

Congrats to WW, who graduated college yesterday. May the road rise up to meet you,
may the wind always be at your back and may many hott guys beat a
path to your door...at which point you have no excuse for not snapping their pic with your new camera.

Comment made while discussing a possible upcoming tell all book from KFed about his former wife on "The Soup",
"Britney's gonna be pissed when somebody reads that book to her."

I had a *lovely* day out with the offspring planned for Saturday. We planned to go shopping
so they could finish buying their presents for their respective dads and then we came home
and had a "wrap party". After the party, we took the gifts to the post office so they could be
mailed to the appropriate correction facilities and we went to have their pictures taken with Santa and eight *LIVE* reindeer.
This was on a small farm, and the reindeer were kept in a fenced in area until it was time for each child to get their pic taken.
While we were standing in line some lady's undisciplined brats decided it would be
really funny to spook Santa's reindeer, at which point they broke through the fence and ran for cover.
We tried this picture thing last year and that same brat thought it would be really funny to give the reindeer some Hubba Bubba bubblegum.
Word of caution: reindeer and Hubba Bubba don't mix. And NO, they don't fare any better with Bubblicious.
During the pandemonium this year, one woman turned to me and said, "Why don't they
leave that trouble maker at home?" I said, "Because I couldn't get a babysitter for him, damn it!"
Then I decided to forget the kid's pictures and take the dog to Petco to get her picture taken with Santa.
The dogs sat next to Santa, and when he reached down to pat their sweet little heads,
the photog, who couldn't have gotten a shittier gig if he tried, snapped the pic.
The first problem with this idea is thinking dogs will sit still. The second problem
is restraining the dogs from using Santa as a fire hydrant.
And the final problem with this lovely little scenario is a strange man touching strange dogs.
I took two of the offspring with me so they could sit in the backseat of the Rio with Holly because Holly in the front seat with me = disaster.
We took a set of reindeer ears and a big red bow with us because the thought of torturing this dog
and capturing it on film was just too fun to pass up. Especially since I found three more of my socks chewed up Friday night.
Alas, she chewed up the reindeer ears and the bow in the car. Big shocker there.
When it was our turn, Holly began sniffing Santa frantically cuz there was a whoooole lotta peeing going on before she got there.
We finally coaxed her into a seated position and just as Santa was about to reach down and pet her,
Male Offspring #3 rolled one of her favorite bones near Santa's feet and yelled, "Santa's gonna take your bone!"
the phrase that immediately caused Holly to crouch over her bone, growling and snarling.
To make a long story short, I think if he rests and keeps his weight off of them, Santa will have use of those toes back in no time.

I had to laugh when I saw a snippet of Rosie O'Donnell talking to Barbara Walters on The View.
They were discussing parties and *I think* place settings, and Rosie said something like, "You know who does that? Rich people."
as if to imply she *isn't* rich people. Oprah does this all the time, too, and it's a joke. She'll say
to someone, "What's it like having all that money?" and I always have to
commend the celebs with enough balls to say, "You ought to know."

4 comments:

bugs said...

Congrats, WW! Best of luck with your shiny new degree!

Mushy said...

The Britney line was hilarious!

WW said...

Thanks Bugs. Course I don't get the degree for another 3 weeks. Kinda messed up.

bugs said...

Of course you don't get it for another 3 weeks. If you got it right away, that would make sense, something higer acedemia (at least where I live) is not known for. What did you get your degree in?