Monday, December 04, 2006

giddyup jingle horse pick up your feet

Some idiot in Easton (sigh) Pennsylvania, told a judge that he molested his two girls because of his wife's excessive bingo habit.
Apparently had she not been bingo-ing, she would have been available for him to molest her.
Evidently bingo is the root of all evil.
An Arizona grandma was arrested for selling pot to support her bingo habit.

I was watching Worlds Wildest Police Vids this morning. It's bad enough listening to Bunnell's b.s., but
sometimes Captain Jensen comes up with some beauts, too. Some of my favorites
were "This is real time. This is the real thing" during a high speed chase. Are we so stupid we can't figure that out?
Another comment had me rolling my eyes was "paranoia, in and of itself, is not a felony."
Well, there's something none of us knew.

The offspring gave me a hell of a time at the mall yesterday, yelling and screaming about what they wanted for Christmas.
I made them come home and write an essay on the true meaning of Christmas.
Now that I've read through all of them, I can honestly say that the true meaning of Christmas
as far as my offspring are concerned is gifts, gifts and more gifts. Where, oh
where did I go wrong? I've tried to teach them that Christmas is about Christ and love and--oh! before I forget, I saw my diamond ring ON SALE!!
It is MINE! Ok, what was I yakking about again now? Eh, whatever. It probably wasn't as important as my ring news.

I love that new song by The Killers, When You Were Young.
"He doesn't look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined when you were young"

I was suffering through Santa Junior on Sunday and one of the scenes had me laughing.
Santa Jr. had a bag of "magic dust" and while the police were advancing on him with guns drawn,
he reaches into his Santa coat and tosses out some dust. Ok, if that had been filmed on COPS, he'd be one dead Santa.
Everybody knows you don't reach into a pocket when the cops have weapons pointed at you, unless you have a death wish.

Holy cow. I was watching Sandra Lee yesterday and she was making meatballs. She tossed in a bag of store
bought meat balls, then added a jar of orange marmalade and some catalina salad dressing. UGH.
It's like her recipes are thrown together by first graders. I was just shocked she didn't top them all with a bag of shredded cheese...

Yikes. Someone found my page by following a Google link on page 29 of their search!
Holy shit, Batman. If I can't find the answer by page two, I'm outta there.

2 comments:

Mushy said...

Hell, I'd go to page 30 just to get to ya!

Glad to see you're in the spirit!

Goddess said...

Glad to see your back! Hope the trip was a blast;)