Thursday, November 16, 2006

yes, dear

I never realized how much Mr. G considered Holly to be "one of the family" until today when
he put her outside in the yard and said, "We should have sex while the kid is outside..."

I was watching the ending of NBC Nightly News last night while waiting to whoop up on Jay's ass in Jeopardy,
aka indulging in wishful thinking, and they had a piece about the Troops to Teachers Program in Charlotte, North Carolina.
They profiled former soldier, Sgt. Daniel Worley.
The girls were all giggly because the dude is hott and doesn't know it.
Quick! Somebody tell him he's got it going on before he loses it.
Why didn't I have sexy teachers like this when I was in school waaaaay back in the day?

I got the results of my writing test back today. Yes, I'm one of those jackasses that takes those "can you write?"
tests you see advertised in magazines, the ones you find right next to the "can you draw this turtle?" ad. Anyway, my
results were the same: I have potential, but only "through the mail" lessons can
give my manuscript "the edge it needs". Oh, and I can't draw worth shit.

I really need to get some more friends. Bugs, you might want to give this paragraph a skip. It'll only prove my
mother was right, ergo yours might be, too.
Yesterday, I actually had this rather one sided conversation with my dog. It was in the afternoon and we were laying on the bed,
she was snoring and I was contemplating life. I said, "You know, this is the only brown piece of clothing I own, Holly.
I think it's because I'm fair skinned. I tend to avoid browns or tans. They make me look washed out, but this sweater looks pretty good with my jeans."
And Holly said, "*insert dog snorting/snoring/snuffling sounds here*"
However, I found her snoring and snuffling and snorting to be rather insightful.
Mr. G chose that exact moment to walk by the door. He said, "It's not so much that you talk to
the dog, it's the fact that you explain things to her that I find a bit creepy."
I said, "I wouldn't have to do that if YOU listened to me."
He said, "I *do* listen!"
I said, "Fine. This is the only brown top I own and I think it's because I'm --"
He said, "Yaya, fair skinned. I heard all that before."
I said, "Oh, and btw, this dog is becoming incredibly lazy lately. How about figuring out why? If you need us, we'll be napping..."


Mushy said...

What, Mr. G don't like a "cold nose nudge" with his sex? Makes me go places I've never been!

Goddess said...

LOL...we never get the cold nose nudge. We always get the "how COULD you?!" stare from three feet away. It's a mood kill, Mushy.

Anonymous said...

Kill the dog. Write a nice memorial poem. Then bury the dog under a new concrete slab.

Ron S.

Goddess said...

OR we could just ignore her...LOL!

Bruno said...

Huh, sounds like ONE of the affected party needs to go OUTSIDE!!!

Goddess said...

Might have been more interesting had we ALL gone outside...