Monday, November 13, 2006

oops she did it again...and again and again

KFed is now claiming he has a sex tape he will release if Britney doesn't meet his monetary demands. I'd say, "Bring it, biatch."
If his sexing is anything like his rapping, it ought to be quite humorous to watch. I want to see how many mirrors I can spot.
But the really funny thing is that Britney is reportedly worried because she fears "the raunchy footage will destroy her wholesome image".
Honey, that ship sailed a loooooong time ago. Like right after the scantily clad school girl uniform vid and the boob implants. Oh, I'm sorry, "growth spurt".

"Two Lenawee County Jail officers have been fired after authorities say they urged an inmate
to strip and run naked around his cellblock in exchange for a piece of cherry pie."
Let me just say this, NO PIECE OF FRUIT PIE is worth this. But put the words "hot fudge"
into that sentence and I'd be performing naked cartwheels. And trust me, that wouldn't be pretty for *any* of us.

I think The Simpsons new movie would be better received had it come
out about 5 or 6 years ago when the show was funny...

After spending many, many harrowing hours trying to write the PERFECT song for Dan Davis, the song that sums
up how hott I think he is, I've come to a startling conclusion: I'm not making any head way because all of the good
songs have been written!
(And because I keep getting sucked into this damn COPS marathon...)
That's right. There are no good songs left to be written.
Seriously, here's what I came up with so far:
"You are an obsession, you're my obsession..." Ooops, taken!
"It's just a little crush..." Damn it, taken!
"I'm crazy for you, touch me once and you'll know it's true..." Fuggedaboutit, taken!
But THEN I got to thinking that if I could combine all THREE of these songs, I might have something. Fact it,
they all contain the correct words for a stalking song: obsession, crush and most importantly, crazy."
I am SO working on this right now!
And a 2000 episode of COPS from Albuquerque...


Bruno said...

Nah, not for cherry pie! Maybe, for a whole peach cobbler! And the Simpsons' movie---Well, I'm a big fan of The Simpsons' series, but I don't think the movie will fly, either. Kinda like a Richard Pryor movie: After the first 15 fugg-you's, within 5 seconds of each other, pretty much everything else is lost in "movie-hell" somewhere!

Goddess said...

We loved the Simpsons and watched every week until about the 10th season. After that it just wasn't funny any more.

Mushy said...

There will be a "hot fudge" fest at my place this Saturday, come one, come all, come one Goddess!

Goddess said...

I think someone missed that all important "And trust me, that wouldn't be pretty for *any* of us" line...