Thursday, November 02, 2006

learn to be a stranger blonde on blonde

When I was out mailing bills this morning, I had the oldies station on and they played, Kung Fu Fighting.
(And yes, I was too lazy to change the channel. Ok, ok, I *couldn't* change it. I had two hands on my Subway sub and two elbows on the wheel...)
After the song was over the lady dj says, "From the only station in town that plays Kung Fu Fighting...."
I thought, "And people say there is no God..."

Planning to commit suicide by drinking too many energy drinks or sodas? Click here to find out how many it will take to do you in.
I entered my weight and according to this, it will take a mere 2,998 cans of diet Pepsi to kill me. Apparently being *a tad* overweight can save my life in this instance. Good thing those cans aren't cumulative or I would have been dead years ago...

HA! I drove past LuLu's trailer earlier today and she is *still* cleaning up the eggs and toilet paper from Halloween.
Seems she decided to get all healthy on the kids and I'm sorry, but kids and health just don't go together! In another bit of trailer court news, I just discovered that the guy who moved in last week is a paid fireman (most fire depts around here are volunteer) for the city. That is going to come in really handy the next time the offspring try to set my trailer on fire. Or when they roast marshmallows over a welding torch flame. Who knew that would turn out so badly? On the upside, the insurance company did pay for a new garage. And I'll admit, the marshmallows were damn tasty.

I don't think that lunch meat of the month club is classy enough for Dan Davis. Although November's featured lunch meat IS pickle loaf.
I have to come up with a new way of stalking.
Suggestions anyone?
I want it to be different, I want it to be dissimilar.
(Yeah, I know different and dissimilar mean the same thing. I used my thesaurus to kill three spiders and then I had to toss it away.
It was hard cracking open that cover with spider goo all over it, so deal with it!)
I want it to be something eye catching and eye appealing.
(Wow. Guess I relied on that thesaurus more than I thought...)
Dan might not be a big fan of gum, but I myself am enrolled in the Chicklet of the Month club. I've been enrolled for three months now.
First I got a red Chicklet, then a purple one (my fav) and for November I got an orange Chicklet.
I can't wait to see what I get in December. The excitement builds with every day that passes.

Oh, let the fun begin. Female Offspring #7 is campaigning very hard for a Dora the Explorer talking cash register. It's thirty bucks.
I said, "Honey, while it's good that you start practicing early for the "career" you'll probably have for the
rest of your life, Dora is a Fisher Price Product and Mommy is boycotting Fisher Price." She asked me why and I hesitated.
How do you explain to a small child that a major corporation is a greedy, bloodsucker preying on the desires of small children?
I pride myself on being honest, so I looked her right in the eye and said, "Honey, Dora is a serious chain smoker and we all know how bad cigarettes are."


I was so happy to read that Trooper Joshua Risner of the Ohio State Patrol has been cleared of drunk driving allegations involving a fiery crash that killed him, Sgt. Dale R. Holcomb riding as a passenger and the female drive of a pickup truck that Trooper Risner smashed into. Trooper Risner was driving eastbound, lost control of his vehicle and spun into the westbound lane, where he hit the pick up truck.
I've been following this story closely, and none of it made much sense to me. At the time of his death, a blood draw showed .000 alcohol in Trooper Risner's system, yet a deep cavity draw done some 6o hours later showed a blood alcohol level of 0.08, which is legally drunk under Ohio law. Using sophisticated FAA tests, usually done on pilots, they discerned that he had not consumed any alcohol before his death.
I was very happy to read that the Trooper was not drunk because I'm sure his death has been an awful heartache to his family. It's hellish enough to lose your husband or your father but when he's not there to answer accusations against himself, the nightmare gets so much worse. I read that his wife and children were even refused death benefits because of the accusation. I hope the union reinstates his benefits, and I hope the public allows the family to grieve in peace.

Because I love the show Men In Trees, I was thrilled to find some hott cops for my Hott Cops blog this week that were from Alaska. Check 'em out!

3 comments:

frhe sjgg said...

Darn it Goddess ! Now I'm going to be walking around humming ''everybody was kung fu fighting.... DODODLE-OOT-DO-OOH...'' the rest of the day !

Sorry that trooper risner's family had to go through losing him and then the pain of the false allegations...

Sincerely,
Anne Elizabeth

Mushy said...

The only thing I saw "hott" was the big German Shepherd! Now that's a fine animal - the other dogs didn't do much for me.

Goddess said...

If I have to be miserable, Anne, so does everyone else;)

Aww, come on, Mushy! The dudes were hott! You'll just have to rely on FHB's Friday posts for "hot" chicks....