Wednesday, November 29, 2006

i found out long ago

From "Goddess' Rules of the Internet 101": NEVER give the person you're dating the URL to your blog.
While Mr. G knows about my site(s), he never reads them. And the offspring are FORBIDDEN to read them. If I so much as THINK they're reading them, I'll kill 'em.
I'm glad about that because I can say what I want to say. Not that I'm saying anything incriminating, but still. If I wanna kvetch, I can.
When I'm reading someone's blog and their gf/bf/spouse suddenly starts posting, the blog kinda
loses flavor for me, ESPECIALLY when it's just a bf/gf. The blog writer has to watch what they say, so they start censoring
and the blog isn't as fun for me anymore, and I find myself investing less and less time, just waiting for the inevitable break up disaster.
You can tell when they've given out the URL cuz suddenly they'll start saying all sorts of nice things about their S.O.
"He is THEE BEST in bed!"
"Nobody gives head like my woman!"
"OMG! If my guy gets any smarter, I'll have to go back to college just to keep up!"
"If my gf gets any hotter, I'm going to have to carry a fire extinguisher around with me at all times."
GUH. And the insanity goes on and on until I feel like I'm in danger of overdosing on saccharine.
I feel the worst for guys. They can't even say things like, "Well, I'm thinking about
asking the chick to maybe marry me in the upcoming months" cuz she'll have the entire wedding planned before he makes it home that evening.
Then in the back of my mind, I always think, "Oh, shit, if these two break up, he's not even going
to be able to talk about it, or he'll have to get a new blog addy to do so because you
just KNOW she'll be checking his blog constantly to see if he's talking smack about her."
And that bugs me because if he DOESN'T talk smack about her, we'll never know the gory details of their breakup...LOL! Don't get on your high horses, I know I'm not the *only one* who wants to hear that kind of stuff. I'm just being honest about it.
Guys, it's so not worth it to hear those few seconds of "tee hee, you're so funny in your blog" right before she gives you head.
Gals, same thing when it comes to cunnilingus ...or him changing the "earl" in your car.
So if you find yourself tempted to tell, remember: a moment on the lips, a lifetime of having to put up with her angry emails because you made her look bitchy in your blog.
If you feel you MUST give her/him your URL, for God's sakes, have the sense to set up a "dummy blog"
where you can kiss ass 24/7 and nobody has to read it but the person it's intended to impress. Do that much for us, your faithful internet pals.


Anonymous said...

We do NOT read your blogs!! You're so paranoid.
Male Offspring #1, 2, 3, & 4
Female Offspring #2,3,4,5,6,

Anonymous said...

Yeah, we have BETTER things to do!
Male Offspring #5 & 6

Bruno said...

And you can take their word for it, too!

Goddess said...

Yes, Bruno, I see exactly what their word is worth....

Anonymous said...

My husband won't blog about me no matter how much I beg or cajole him. We even had a joint blog, which neither of us used! Heh.


Goddess said...

LOL...he's playing it smart, Lilly. You can't get in trouble if you don't say anything! I love that;)

BTW, I heard the Mad World version you had posted on your site. Now that I'm hearing it more and more I like that version, too. It's just so different than Tears' version that it took me awhile to get used to.

Sleepless said...

Very sound advice indeed!

Goddess said...

Thank you. *takes a bow*

la fille mariƩe said...

Extremely good advice, Goddess. I so wish I had read this post about 2 hours ago... before I gave my blog url to someone that I posted about. Not a b/f or even a current prospect for an affair -- but damned awkward. Argh. I really need to learn to keep my mouth shut. :)

Goddess said...

Ouch. Sorry to hear that, la fille Mariee.