Mr. G to the Offspring as they entered the Salvation Army yesterday for a free turkey dinner, "Now, remember. If anyone asks, we're here because you don't have a mother."
Female Offspring #1: "Screw that. I'm telling them she's a crack whore like I did last year. They felt so sorry for me they gave me an extra piece of pumpkin pie."
Bugs writes: "In regards to inflatable Christmas decorations.....a neighbor of mine has an enormous inflatable thing with a carosel inside it. And the carosel rotates. And the carosel parts are inflatable. They put it up about a week ago, and I've been on XmasInflatoWatch! ever since. I am obsessed with the need to see if its still inflated. When I leave for school in the morning, it's up and rotating.(and its so cold, theres dew inside, so you can hardly see the rotating parts anyway) When I come home from school, its deflated. By the time Buglet comes home, its reinflated again. Last night when I took the garbage out, it was deflated again. Say your Christmas lights fall off of the roof. Are you going to get back out on a ladder and put them up again? Fuck no. And yet....this is the equivelent to climbing the ladder again. Grr. XmasInflatoCheck---inflated AND lit. I give it an hour before its down again."
LOL! I love that, but at least it doesn't have SOUND to it. My neighbor slapped out his annoying motor sensored Santa last night and all evening long I heard, "HO, HO, HO! MERRRRRRRY CHRISTMAS!!" My cats must have set it off about 50 times. Male Offspring #1 is busy at this very moment trying to figure out how we can change it to "HO, HO, HO!!! FUUUUUUUUCK OFF!"
I was so incredibly bored Thanksgiving Day at work that I watched a Hallmark movie called "The Reading Room" with Joanna Cassidy and James Earl Jones. It was the story a man who was trying to fulfill his wife's dying wish of opening a free reading room in a poor neighborhood. The movie wasn't bad but it would have been a tad more realistic had James' character become embittered or defeated by the obstacles thrown at him.
Each time something happened, he just rolled with it. What kind of an attitude is that?!
Ok, but seriously the black chicks came in and were all demanding, telling him to get magazines and the next day, he had a rack of magazines. Some thugs ripped off his computer, the next day he had a new computer. Someone stole his car, next day he arrived with a new one. Sigh. Where was the crying? The screaming? The "why doesn't God love me?" angst, all the stuff that makes a great movie?