Thursday, October 26, 2006

the scoop, the dip and the 411

A cop from a neighboring township is in trouble because he refused to respond to a domestic violence situation. The cop said that after an incident at the residence in July, they would no longer be responding to her calls because the woman refused each time to testify against her boyfriend. I know it's their job, but you have to feel for the cops in this situation. They go to the residence and put their lives on the line repeatedly, and the idiot chick won't press charges. What does she want them to do? This time she allowed him into the residence to pick up his belongings, including a SHOT GUN. What person in their right mind would release a shot gun to someone who had been violent towards them in the past? No wonder the cops are frustrated with her.

Only on the soaps. I was watching Guiding Light this morning and Reva is *trying* to kill herself, but she keeps getting interrupted.
The second interruption came just as she was going to drive her car into a river or off a cliff or some such nonsense.
The phone started to ring and she checked the caller I.D. to see who it was.
I'm thinking, "You're going to KILL yourself. How important is it that you answer the damn phone right now?"
She kept procrastinating so much I found myself yelling "Oh, kill yourself already!" at the tv screen.

Pics on CNN of the blizzard in Castlerock Colorado were absolutely gorgeous.
I can say that because I'm not shoveling it.

Wow. You can tell Tom Cruise isn't at the top of his game anymore. Not only is he telling
the media where he and whatsherface are getting married, he's even telling them the date.
And somewhere his Jesus, L. Ronn Hubbard yawned.

Last night when I took off my bra, three kernels of corn fell out. (And a penny.)
Now here's the thing: I haven't eaten corn for weeks....I have, however, used pennies.

Well good news and bad news with the Madonna interview. The bad news is that she was boring.
The good news is that she's more British than ever. Hell, she even talks like she has a stick up her bum. Madonna said "shame on you" to the media for discouraging all the other people who wanted to adopt African children.
I hate to burst Madonna's bubble, but unless you're rich, who the hell could afford to go to Africa and adopt a child?
And guess what? I'm not even going to get on my soapbox and say, "HEY! What about the AMERICAN children who need a
quality education? What about the AMERICAN children who are stuck in foster care and need a rich celeb
to give them a home and medical care? Nope, not going to say it.
Oprah also had The Dixie Chicks on the same show. Kudos to Natalie Maines for not saying she was sorry for the things she said, despite Oprah's many, many thinly disguised attempts to get her to say it. I've said it before and I sincerely believe that it was her timing that upset people. If she said NOW what she did then, they'd probably gain more fans, instead of less. And kudos to the band for making this whole mess into a documentary. Very clever of them.

The local department store is once again holding a candy exchange for diabetic children.
This is a really nice thing they do. In exchange for candy, the store gives the kids a toy.
So we here at Casa de Goddess gather up all the icky stuff no one likes, and then we pretend one or two of the offspring is diabetic to get free toys.
Do I feel guilty cheating the system like this? Oh, yeah. Sure. Uh huh. The guilt will keep me up all night. The guilt and the sugar rush.
"Icky stuff" consists of: loose candy corn, those peanut chew things, anything remotely healthy looking, Maryjanes, brown M&Ms and
Pixie Sticks, because I get sick of the paper getting wet and the sugar sticking inside. Cutting them
and pouring the sugary goo into a bowl is tremendously tedious. And yes, I'm speaking from experience.
Then we'll toss in one or two pieces of good candy to make it look legitimate.
Speaking of Halloween, Zal asked me why we have trick or treat night on Thursday. Why don't you just point out the fact that I live in a freakish township, Zal?! I have no idea why they do it Thursday, but we've always had it on the last Thursday of the month before the time change.

I saw a clip of K Fed on a wrestling show the other night. He took the mike and yelled to the audience, "Do you want to hear me rap?'
The intelligent audience, who has obviously heard K Fed rap before, all yelled back, 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

I realize Greg Brehendt likes to consider himself a "cool cat," but now that he has a talk show, he needs to grow up.
I watched about five minutes of his show yesterday and saw a segment where they sent a family to yoga classes. He asked the 50ish WOMAN
how she liked the classes, and after she told him it was a nice thing to do as a family, he responded with, "Right on, man. Right on."

One of the hospitals out of the Pittsburgh area that advertises in my town is now claiming
each person who has their health insurance has their own "personal concierge."
Yeah, they're called "minimum wage customer service reps." Get over yourself, UPMC.

5 comments:

Ranger Tom said...

How PC... Personal Concierge...

When I was a cop I joked that I was a "Human Sanitation Engineer"

frhe sjgg said...

Goddess,
you crack me up ! I'm gonna add this blog to my links too ! (But on the 'good girl' ones...)

Have an excellent Thursday --
Sincerely,
Anne Elizabeth

Goddess said...

Ha. WW said if she made the "good girl" links, mine would surely make the "bad". Wait till I tell her...LOL!

Mushy said...

The corn bit is hilarious! I got so choked up from laughing I had to go hawk something up out of my throat!

Goddess said...

I just hope it wasn't corn, Mushy, cuz I have enough explaining to do....;)