I also wanted to see the Chesapeake Bay one more time. It was exactly as I remember it: tranquil, comforting and dead, stinky fish floating everywhere.
Noooow I remember why we never went back.
I forgot to mention that while I was eating lunch yesterday they were interviewing the couple from Iowa who won $200.8 million dollars in the lottery on tv. The guy said he and his wife will continue to work. She works at Wal-Mart and he works at some auto place which he named twice. Um, hello? You just won 200 frigging million dollars and you’re worried about collecting a lousy minimum wage pay check from Wal-Mart and a detailing shop? That’s insane. How many seconds before you get pissed about some nasty customer and realize that you’re a millionaire and you don’t have to take Wal-Mart’s crap? Let’s forget the fact that they will probably be hounded for handouts all the time and that their co-workers will more than likely resent them. Why would you WANT to work?! Enjoy life. When I become a world famous writer--which I feel could happen any decade now--the first thing I’m going to do is call up my boss and quit. Then I’m going to call Mr. G’s boss and quit for him. But I’ll make sure I have cash in hand first, lest I have to go crawling back, begging for both of our jobs. These people who say they will continue to work because they want to “be productive,” are full of it. You can be just as productive laying in bed as you can working at Wal-Mart. Any hooker will confirm that.
I am really starting to worry about South’s cat Mr. Snuggles. I was supposed to be in Georgia two days ago. I hope Mike put out enough food and water for him or somebody’s gonna be mighty upset when he comes home from a week of whoring and finds a dead cat stinking up the place.
Worse case scenario: I actually make it down to Georgia and I walk in on a dead cat stinking up the place.
God forbid anything should happen to him, because South is just crazy about this cat. He talks about him on IM all. the. time. “Guess what Mr. Snuggles did today?“ “Guess where Mr. Snuggles is sleeping right now?“ “Guess what Mr. Snuggles did when I walked out of the shower naked the other day?” Eww. Eww. Ewwwwww. He even has the damn cat on his answering machine. If you call his house, the message is, “Hi, this is Mike and
Speaking of South, I called him last night and said, “Dude, do you think these guys care that I’m not talking about porn on your site?”
He said, “Don’t worry. I’m sure they don’t read your drivel either.”
I love that Sonic commercial with the guy and the girl in the car having a shake. They both talk
about how good it is and he says, "I think I'll put something about it on my blog. My fans will want to know." She says, "You mean your mom?" LOL!
There is something very insidious going on in this country. No, I’m not referring to Iraq or Foley or the fact Bush can’t give us the exact definition of “torture”, much the same as Clinton couldn’t give us the definition of “is”. I am talking about this TMX Elmo shortage. I found not one freaking Elmo in Maryland. People, I propose a total ban on Fisher Price toys this Christmas. They are deliberately manipulating this situation. If FP wanted, we would have TMX Elmos coming out of our asses. Instead they’re deliberately creating a shortage, so crazy people drive all over the country trying to find one. Keeping my fingers crossed that I can find one in North Carolina and make it to Georgia today….