Tuesday, September 12, 2006

You're a bad-hearted boy-trap, babydoll, but you're so damn hott

Next week on my Hott Cop's blog, I'm going to have a "Salute to the K9 Officers Week." All K9 officers, all week. And I just *know* you're all peeing your pants in anticipation.

This morning before I zipped off to the rendering plant, I was Fabreezing the kids from
head to toe --gotta send those kids down to the river with a rock more often, the laundry's backing up--and I heard this quote from
PA Senator Rick Santorum: "In far too many families with young children, both parents are working,
when, if they really took an honest look at the budget, they might find they don't both need to."
He's exactly right. Far too many women work for the sheer joy of getting up super early and herding the kids off to school or day care to stay with strangers,
until the moms can rush home from work, cook supper and spend the evening taking care of the house and kids, leaving little time for her own interests.
What these women really need to do is marry a U.S. Senator who votes himself a pay raise 3 times in 5 years.
Maybe the same Senator who refused to vote for an increase in the $5.35 minimum wage THIRTEEN TIMES.
Because apparently if people really take an honest look at their budget, they'll find they can support their family on $10k 0r $11k a year.

I love this spam email I received yesterday: "Do you wanna fuck like a pornostar in the movie you saw yesterday?" Considering the porn movie I saw yesterday was "Ass Hole O Mio," I'll take a pass, thank you very much.

I was thumbing through yet another one of those books about people who left everything behind to travel the world in search of truth and love.
These books always end the same way: with the person admitting that what they were looking for was right with them all along,
and that you, too, can find truth and love in your every day life. It's what I call
the "Wizard of Oz Syndrome".
If you notice, people who do this never
learn the lesson right away, never at the first place on their itinerary. It's always AFTER they've traveled the globe.
Way to take a great vacation and get paid for it later.
Next time I go to Georgia to update for South, I'm going to write a book like this. I'll talk about how I left my husbands, ex-husbands,
many, many offspring and my one bedroom trailer behind and traveled alone.
I'll talk about how I discovered I'm richer than I think. (Fat chance.)

Somebody posted about one of the cop's pictures that I put on my site. They made the
comment that I was "psycho" and a "true red neck and professes to be trailer trash."
While I found the comment to be hilarious, I must respond. First of all, I'm not a "redneck." I live in PA. The only rednecks in PA are those that have moved here from down South. It's "white trash," people, get it right!!
Secondly, if posting a person's picture on the internet and saying they're handsome
makes you a psycho, there are a HELL of a lot of psychos on the internet.
The psycho thing was really funny since I never contacted the cop in the pic, nor had any desire to. BTW, the person should BE so lucky that I would stalk them, which was implied in other comments. Mike South, who never missed an opportunity to tell me I was a "lousy stalker" because I had no desire to meet him and no desire to stand on his front lawn screaming "LOVE ME, MIKE!!! said THIS the other day,
and I'm putting it in bold so nobody misses it:
South: ok im gonna say it
you were an ideal stalker
very low maintenance
Me: well FINALLY
South: yes yes
all stalkers should adopt your methodologies
Me: you don't miss the water till the well runs dry as gramma used to say
And I gotta admit, I miss stalking him. It was a hoot.

I was listening to one of my favorite singer/song writers today, Carly Simon. I miss her songs.
I have at least ten of her albums, "Boys In The Trees" and "Come Upstairs" being my favorites. "Hello, Big Man," was the one I liked the least.
Her lyrics always made sense, unlike Stevie Nicks.
I've liked Stevie for a long time, too. I don't understand 95% of what she sings, but I forgive her.
Carly's songs always told a story and always had a little of what she learned in them.
One of my favorite songs is, "We Have No Secrets," in which she brags about how her and her man tell each other everything,
and how sometimes that's not a good thing.
"In the name of honesty
In the name of what is fair
You always answer my questions
But they don't always answer my prayers."
I have her Torch cd and I listen to that a lot. It features Carly singing old songs
like, "I Got It Bad (And That Ain't Good)," and "I Get Along Without You Very Well".
And I love, love, love the picture of her on the cover of Torch. It's so sexy.

Awww, sad news. The mama panda at the Bejing zoo accidentally crushed her new baby.
When they showed the new baby at the Georgia zoo the other day, I remembered wondering how in the world
that huge, lumbering bear handles that tiny cub. People say animals don't have feelings--pffft on you, idiots--and
yet the mother bear was wailing after they removed her dead cub.

Bugs sends me this story about Starbucks refusing to honor their own coupon. Whoever came up with this
dumbazz internet coupon idea HAD to know that it would take off like wildfire. Look how quickly virus emails spread.
Give away something FREE and I can't even fathom how rapidly people would be forwarding.
Now some woman who feels "betrayed"--*cough*dramaqueen*cough*--is suing. Figures.
Starbucks IS wrong, IMHO. They put the coupon out there and they need to pony up and honor it.

BTW, my husband called today to tell me he wanted me bad!
LOL...only Mushy's gonna get that.


Mushy said...

...and, he did!

Ron Southern said...

What?! I couldn't hear clearly! Mushy's gonna get some of that?

Fathairybastard said...

Mushy's gettin' around.

Fathairybastard said...

And I always liked Carly Simon, but I LOVE her album covers. Wooof.

Mushy said...

I'll never tell!

Mushy's a southern gentleman.