Thursday, September 28, 2006

put the lime in the coconut and call me in the morning

So Oprah debuted on XM radio. Fabulous. I mean who couldn't listen to Oprah blather on all day long? Keeping my fingers crossed that she talks about her favorite subject: herself!
And I hope she talks in that po' Southern girl accent that she always uses. Some of the exciting topics she covered were poop and the fact that now she wishes her grandmother was alive to see that she has "all these good white folk working for her" instead of the other way around, and only one black person. Hmm, I'm sure the black folk are loving that. One of their own makes it big and who does she hire? Whities.

Who in the world does Patricia Dunn think she's kidding when she says she thought private investigators'
methods of spying on members of the Hewlett-Packard board "were anything but legal"?
Can the chairwoman of a leading company be that STUPID? Hardly.
They don't call it "spying" because it's above board. They impersonated HP board
members to get phone record information, went through people's garbage and read emails. Yeah, sounds totally legit to me.
Just keep clinging to that lie, Patricia, and praying that your big bank account gets you off scott free.

It's starting to annoy me the way my contemporary radio station keeps sneaking more and more COUNTRY CRAP onto it's playlist.
Keith Urban, Leanne Rimes, Shania and I Hope You Dance chick do NOT belong on my contemporary station.
They're trying to suck me into country, people and that disgusts me. What's next? TV shows that try to suck me into becoming a lesbian?
Commercials that try to convince me that drinking beer makes me look cool? Hell, I already know that.

I gotta stop reading cop blogs. Well, truth be told, I've dropped some and added others. I keep forgetting that these guys are
men first, cops second. When they do something out and out rude, and they brag about it, it makes me feel rather disillusioned.
And when they post those, "why I hate the public" posts, it makes me feel very uncomfortable around police officers, as if they all think we're
morons. I know the public gets on their nerves, heck, I've worked in a customer service job, but some of them are so scathing that it's disenchanting.

I saw an ad in the paper for an orchard where you could buy bushels of apples at a rather good price.
You can only magine how many apples we go through in the course of a year at Casa de Goddess.
Candied apples for breakfast, caramel apples rolled in nuts and M&M's for lunch, and well,
let's just say we go through 'em like Grandpa goes through Depends. So I loaded up the offspring and drove out to the orchard.
I figured seeing underpaid orchard workers toiling in the orchard fields would be good for them.
I don't know where they get the ridiculous idea that hard work is something to be afraid of.
The orchard owner came over to greet us, and I told him that I wanted three bushels of apples.
Grandma Goddess taught me the "put the apples in a cool place, cover them with dried leaves and they'll stay good for months" trick.
The guy came back with three bushel baskets and said, "The type of apples you want are on those three rows of trees. You kids have fun."
I'm like, "Whoa, whoa. What do you mean my apples are on the trees? Aren't you going to get some of your illegal immigrants pick them for me?"
"No, Ma'am. This is a "pick it yourself" orchard."
I said, "Wait a minute. You expect me to pick my own apples and then PAY you for the privilege?"
"Exactly."
"Get in the car, kids. I am NOT working up a sweat picking apples. We'll go to the grocery store.
Sure, I'l pay two times as much, but the only hard work I have to do is pick up the bag of apples. And I'll get one of you to handle that for me."

1 comment:

Mushy said...

Your mind is a dangerous thing!