Thursday, September 07, 2006

goin up to the spirit in the sky that's where i'm gonna go when i die

I read this interesting quote from George MacDonald last night:
"God will help us when we cannot walk, and He will help us when we find it hard to walk, but He cannot help us if we will not walk."
It is at times like this, my friends, when the Hoveround comes in handy.

Good Steeler game last night. Even better half time sex/bj.
Yes! The tradition continues!
Made even more fab by my Hitachi Wand. Abracadabra, kids. It works like magic!
Ahhhh, I heart football season.
Holly, on the other hand, hates football season and any other season we have sex.
We shut the bedroom door on her
and she sat out in the hallway
doing her Scooby Doo impressions.

During the third quarter of the game, they showed them making sandwiches at the stadium.
The guy was using his damn bare hands to scoop up what looked like sauerkraut and slapping it on buns.
GROSS. Guess they've never heard of plastic gloves.

I'm probably going to Hell for this, but whatever.
God has list of numerous items to choose from, I'm just adding one more.
It'll make His job easier.
I was yakking with my gf yesterday and she mentioned the mayor of Pittsburgh dying and how she thought
his funeral was going to be on tv. I told her that it had been on tv. She asked what time.
I said, "Half past The Young and The Restless, a quarter till The Bold and The Beautiful."
No matter what happens in Picksburgh, it's GOT to be talked about in that 12:30 p.m. time slot.
And they're always *finished* talking about it by the time As The World Turns comes on.
I've decided this is simply because that's a soap I do not watch, and all the Pittsburgh media seem to know this.
And may I just add it seemed like the longest freaking drive to the cemetery on record?!
Probably not for the mayor, though...

I'm usually pretty anal about making sure my credit cards are mailed in on time because of all the
tricky new rules the cc industry has to slap you with fees. My one cc used to be due around the 15th, but suddenly I've noticed it's
due around the 10th. Last night I was panicking trying to decide whether or not the bill would make it to New Hampshire by Sunday.
I decided to do an over the phone payment instead. The little fuckers at Chase charged me FIFTEEN BUCKS to do that transaction,
which probably took them all of two seconds via computer. But I had to weigh fee that against the fact that now if you're late
with one credit card ALL credit card companies can raise your interest rates on your existing cards. How that is even legal is beyond me.

Alex tells me the critics have panned "Til Death" and are comparing it to a rehashed "Married With.." sans the children.
I usually find that if a show is "critically acclaimed," I hate it. And when they hate it, I seem to like it.
I just hope that Brad Garrett doesn't
constantly (bitterly) rag on marriage the way it seems in the first ep. A little of that goes a long way.
I don't like the stereotypical view of marriages that are portrayed on most televsion shows.
Marriages that are boring and stale, and sex is this difficult chore no one wants to do.
The truth is there ARE times we'd both rather sleep than have sex, and we're open enough to just admit it and move on.
As for "Til Death," the newly weds that move in next door have the last name of Woodcock and those jokes got old quickly.
I did have to laugh when Brad Garrett looked out the window at another neighbor's house
and said, "The Ruperts bought groceries again today. They just went to the market yesterday. What the hell's going on over there?"
And I liked it when Joely Fisher said they were going jogging, but Brad refused.
She insisted she was going anyway.
One minute she was warming up and
the next she was curled up next to him on the couch watching Ellen and eating pork rinds.
I like Fisher and Garrett together and this is a show I'll watch again. You know, *if* I remember.

The show that follows it looked bad even in the commercials.
It shows a chick eating a pizza while bitching about how she can't fit her ass into her jeans.
Great. Another half hour of listening to an anorexic actress talking about how fat she is....
I'm not even wasting my time on that tripe.
Here's a challenge to the Hollywood writers: write a funny sitcom about women without ONCE ever mentioning their weight.

2 comments:

Fathairybastard said...

I'm sorry but is the Hitachi Wand a marital aid? Brzzzzzzz! Or is it more like Brummm num num num?

Yea, people are clueless. Buddy of mine recently saw a guy at the grocery store, an employee, walking out of the men's room with a hair net and rubber gloves on, wiping his gloved hands on his pants. Can you say, ECOLI?

Goddess said...

Well, at least he was wearing gloves....LOL!