Tuesday, September 19, 2006

gimme, gimme good lovin' every day

Oh gawd, it's Talk Like A Pirate Day. UGH. I mean, 'arrrrrrrrrr...' Sigh.

Here are a few facts for you veal lovers:
A male calf is taken from it's mother only hours after it's birth to produce milk-fed veal.
He's deprived of all exercise to grow "soft meat."
He's chained in the dark in a small wooden crate FOR LIFE. A crate barely larger than his own body.
He is denied all solid food and deliberately kept anemic to keep the color of his meat light.
Veal calves are deprived of drinking water and are forced to drink more drug laced liquid feed in an attempt to quench their thirst.
Excrement covers his rear and collects under the slats of his crate.
Enjoy!

It's only just begun and I can hardly wait for the football season to be over. If I hear about Big Ben's "bad luck" one more time,
I'll scream. For Pete's sake, he was in a serious motorcycle accident and survived.
That's bad luck?! And then the whole appendix thing? Last night the chick announcer actually
showed what happens when your appendix gets inflamed. We're not watching Grey's Anatomy, for Pete freaking sake.
I'm sorry, but the women football commentators say the dumbest things and IMHO, add very little to the game, which is probably why they're never in the booth.
So, to recap, two things happened to Ben in one summer and that
constitutes a "streak of bad luck" according to the male announcers, who mustn't have anything better to talk about, either.
I feel bad for Roethliesberger, though.
If the fans are sick of hearing it, I can only imagine how sick Ben is of hearing it.
Mr. G was a tad pissed that Ben played when he started the game with a fever of 102°.
He felt that because he played when he wasn't feeling well, it was actually a detriment to the team.
BTW, Pittsburgh was breaking all sorts of records last night. Unfortunately, none of them were good records.
They sucked harder than a porn chick at a bukkake.

I don't know what halfwit started the trend of combining celebrity couples' names into one, but I
really wish it would stop. It's very annoying or vernnoying as those idiots would no doubt say.
We have TomKat, Bennifer, Brangelina and Spederline. It must tax the little hamster turning the
wheel in their brains to say "Tom and Katie," as if they were two individuals, instead of two people glommed into one.

I watched the season premiere of Oprah yesterday because
she did something I've always wanted to do: get into a car
with a friend and drive cross county with no specific destination in mind, visiting small towns. Oprah got sucked in by the Chevrolet Impala
commercial. Sad to say I got sucked in by the Depends commercial where the chicks are in a convertible driving cross country.
It would have to be with a friend, I couldn't do it with Mr. G because he hates traveling and he stresses
over every little thing. "Are we on the right road?" "Are we headed in the right direction?" "Are we in the right country?"
For the trip, Oprah "got" a brand new Impala. I say "got" instead of "bought" cuz I'm guessing it was a gift from Chevrolet for all the
free plugs she gave them, and then she bitched about the cost of gas. Um, hello? She has more money
than she'll ever need and she's bitching about paying for gas? Puhleeze.
What made me laugh was Gayle saying, "I don't know how to read a map" at the beginning of the trip.
What difference does it make when you have a camera crew and some of your assistants following you the entire way?
Ok, truth be told, I only watched the damn show because in the previews they talked about getting stopped by a state trooper,
and I wanted to see if he was hott! Yes, I had to put up with their constant whining about the radio--"she wants the radio on/ I want it off"--only to
find out that she's dragging this road trip video out for WEEKS. That's right. I never saw the state trooper screaming at her to get off of "his" highway.
For the rest of the week, the show seems to be back
to her usually crappy subjects, so I'm guessing she'll show the road trip every Monday.

I watched season premiere of "The Class" on CBS last night. I'll give it one more shot and then I'm outtie.
It wasn't funny but it wasn't gawd awful either. One more ep should tell the tale.

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