Monday, August 28, 2006

you know what it's like the long farewell of the hunger strike

I knew John Mark Carr was lying through his teeth.
Takes a real sicko to lie about something like that.

I don't care what you hear, I DID NOT change the locks on the trailer while the offspring were at school!
(The locksmith was too busy to get to me...)

Finally, people! I have a legitimate excuse as to why I don't remember much science, geography or history.
According to a new study, boys learn better from male teachers and girls learn better from female teachers.
Take that, Mike South! HA!
I had good looking male teachers for science, geography AND history.
I was too busy fantasizing to remember anything. Clearly it's the teacher's fault.
I never even had a male teacher until I got to high school, so to me, they were quite the sexy oddity.
And coming out of eight years of Catholic school, well, hell, my female hormones were all over the place.
No wonder I had no time for studies.

You know this is NEVER going to end, right? Now someone has seen the Virgin Mary's
face in grease from his George Foremen grill and Jesus in an oyster shell. In all this stupidity,
I think, "Where in the world is St. Joseph? Why doesn't He ever get off His barcalounger
and make an appearance in somebody's bathroom mold?"
Lazy assed slacker.

No wonder people dislike Tom Cruise when he makes idiotic statements like this:
public derogatory, sexist statements of the year.
"I have Katy tucked away so no one can get to us until MY child is born."
Incubator on, incubator off.
No wonder he won an Australian "Ernie" award for one of the worst
"The Golden Ernie for 2006 went to cruise liner company P&O, though, for an advertising campaign that
included postcards featuring bikini-clad women and the caption: 'Seamen wanted.' "

My favorite part of Reno 911 last night was when Junior was fantasizing about getting
a lap dance during the sheriff's funeral. When it was time for him to go up to the pulpit and read a poem aloud, he had a huge boner.

The local weather blog features a posting called "Behind the scenes with your severe weather team," so I checked it out.
Shows the dude wearing a blindfold tossing a dart at a dart board. One side of the dart board reads "rain," the other "no rain."
Hmmm, wonder what it could mean?

Damn, people. Now scammers are using your called ID to try and cheat you. Such schemes are made possible by technology that enables con artists to manipulate the phone number and even the name that shows up on the unsuspecting recipient's caller ID, allowing them to masquerade as officials of churches, banks and courthouses. Known as "spoofing," the endgame is to persuade consumers to reveal their Social Security numbers or other sensitive information. Spoofing is the phone industry's version of phishing, in which criminals use fake e-mails to fool computer users into divulging personal information. But phishing is so yesterday compared with spoofing, one security expert says.

And the Redneck Neighbor of the Year goes to...a man in Pennsylvania (figures) who built a fence
around his property consisting of over 200,000 tires. Sigh.

1 comment:

Mushy said...

The wheel barrow thing reminded me of the first year we lived in our current neighborhood. The lake bed dried up completely that winter after the lake dropped and I was able to hook the lawn trailer behind the lawn mower and pull it out onto the dirt.

My wife sat in the trailer in a lawn chair holding our granddaugter as we bounced along. Since folks didn't know us yet, they probably thought, "Oh God, the Clampetts have moved in!"

Now that they do, they're sure of it!