Friday, August 11, 2006

thats how i knew this story would break my heart when you wrote it

Yesterday while driving to work
early in the morning, I was all sad and depressed. Mostly because everybody
got to sleep in but me . Then I spied SEVERAL AMAZINGLY FIT MILITARY DUDES
JOGGING along the highway. As they passed my Rio, I heard them say, "Goddess has real nice tits, wish she'd rub them on my lips.
Sound off one, two. Sound off three, four. Sound off, one, two, three, four. Hut hut."
Hmmm, I'm pretty SURE it was something along those lines.
Regardless of what they said, those rock hard abs and sweaty chests made me smile.


I saw something today that really upset me. A sign that said, "Reading is Cool." WRONG.
Reading is NOT cool. Reading is FUNdamental and it always has been.
That is a piece of history and you don't mess with history!!!
That's like saying, "Like a good non-sexual relationship, State Farm is there." It just doesn't work!
Another mortal sin is when companies fakeabetize words, like Marcal toilet paper.
On the back it says, "Marcalculate and save."
Marcalculate is NOT a word! I'm not so sure "save" is a word either!

I see the store Casual Male is dropping the Big & Tall part of their name. Their new name will be Casual Male Portly Fatties.
Ok, but it's just as bad: Casual Male XL. Why do they need to add the XL to the title at all?
Women's stores know better, except for Fashion Bug Plus. MUST we add the "plus"?
It's a stigma to those of us with "extra wide load" stickers on our asses.
Besides, most people who shop in these sorts of stores can sniff them out without
the rude moniker, much the same way drug addicts know where to score the best drugs.

4 comments:

Ron Southern said...

Yeah, if the store had a logo saying "Special Small Sizes" the Plus-size ladies would figure it out in no time that the phrase was camouflage and BS for Big Sizes!!!

Goddess said...

Ya know, now that you say that, why don't they call a spade a spade when it comes to height? Why don't they say "shorties" instead of "petite"?! LOL...

Mushy said...

You reminded me of my sister-in-law who spied a group of roofing men carrying tiles up a long ladder yesterday and she commented that she noticed how long and heavy their loads were - "...but I didn't notice their big firm calf muscles", she said!

Also, the first time I asked for 38 jeans a sales clerk leaned over and whispered "They're under the counter." I was pissed and said "I've seen your boy's section, now where is your men's department!"

Goddess said...

LOL...under the counter??? Was it size 38 jeans or porn you were trying to buy? ;)