Thursday, August 31, 2006

my head is a box filled with nothing and that's the way i like it

When I very cleverly told Mr. G it was time to buy the Halloween candy, he pulled a fast one on me.
Because he and I aren't eating any sugar, he came home with 55 boxes of crayons in a Halloween box and
55 Halloween book markers. I said, "Honey, these better be chocolate crayons and chocolate book markers or someone is going to D.I.E.!!"
Alas, they are NOT made of chocolate. We're going to be the most popular trailer in the community......for the tp'ers.

Mr. G called to tell me he heard one of his "favorite people" is getting a divorce. This guy has been a thorn in his side for as long as I can remember.
He's one of these people who hold themselves in very high regard, never gives you a straight answer and insults your intelligence. Mr. G saw him recently
and he asked him what sort of work he was doing. He said, "Government job. Highly classified. But I could travel anywhere in this country that I want to at the drop of a hat." (Which is why he's stuck in an old mining town in Western Pa....) "I can't talk about it, but I'm making too much money."
Mr. G always goes to a discounted bread store to buy old bread to feed the birds. He was there yesterday and in walks his favorite person.
He immediately came over to Mr. G to once again brag about how much money he was making. He started with the "top secret government job" bullshit again,
and how he was making so much money he could hardly bank it fast enough. Mr. G said, "Is that why you drove
all the way out here to buy three day old, twenty five cent banana flips?" And then he walked away.
What a great exit line.

Bravo, FCC!! Remember I talked about how Verizon was removing one tax for $1.25 and imposing another for $1.20?
Well, consumer groups bitched (and rightly so) that they were only removing one tax to add another. The FCC wrote
them a letter asking them to explain the new tax and this week Verizon has decided to withdraw the second tax.
Wonder how long it will take Verizon to figure out a way to disguise the tax as something they can legitimately get away with?

The Catholic Church has come up with it's own plan to deal with priests who are accused of molesting children. The priests are no longer able to perform Mass and they must provide a daily journal of how they spend their time. "Drank, looked at child porn, played with myself, prayed, drank, cruised the playground, prayed, blah, blah, blah, all in the name of the Lord." If the Church finds out they've violated this incredibly difficult program, they will lose their pension and the Church will "allow" them to leave the priesthood with a lump sum compensation based on their years in the priesthood. Well, that seems fair, doesn't it?
Molest a kid and the Church will let you leave with your dignity and some of the parishoners moola.
What a kick in the teeth.
Guess the idea of kicking the perverts out on their asses because they've committed a horrible crime doesn't occur to them.

One of my co-workers got on my nerves big time this morning when she told me that Hurricane Katrina
was the direct result of God's anger about the U.S. making the people leave the Gaza Strip.
I said, "If God is a loving God, why would He send the hurricane to Louisiana? The people living there didn't
have a damn thing to do with the decisions made about the Gaza Strip." She said, "It's divine retritubtion. He's making the nation suffer."
I said, "Other than in the ratings, do you think that Bush has suffered one iota as a result of the hurricane?
Give me a break. If that was the case, wouldn't God have sent hurricanes to destroy Nazi Germany
when Hitler slaughtered the Jews? Wouldn't it have been simplier to afflict Hitler with some hideous disease?"
Gawd, I fucking HATE IT when people blame God when things occur in nature or when we're "rewarded"
with something that is a direct result of our own stupidity. When we accomplish
good in this world, we're busy patting ourselves on the back. When something disasterous happens, it's all God's fault.


Mushy said...

First, your story about Mr. G and Mr. Highandmighty reminded me of a guy that begged and begged me to join Amyway years ago, promising I would be driving a "fine" car and living high. I saw him a few weeks after the last encounter and there he was getting out of a pile of junk. I couldn't help myself...I said, "Any where is your fine ride today?" He looked shocked and never bothered me again.

Second, on the blaming God thing...Satan is called the prince of the air in the Bible...why don't he ever get the proper blame?

Goddess said...

Excellent point about Satan. I think he doesn't get any of the flack cuz he's too busy being blamed for all the excesses of the world: money, wild monkey sex and well, not so wild monkey sex.

Mushy said...

I need to proof read my comments more!

Ron Southern said...

Rave on, groundlings!