Saturday, August 26, 2006

I'll just dream and stay tanned toss up my heart to see where it lands

I heard one of my all time favorite songs this morning on the way to work, "On and On" by Stephen Bishop.
I even own the album. Yes, ALBUM. Bite me.
Every time I hear it, I feel like it's my personal anthem. Sigh.
"On and on
She just keeps on trying
And she smiles when she feels like crying
On and on, On and on, On and on"

Ya gotta love these big corporations. They find a way to fuck you over every time. I received an email this morning from Verizon saying they were no longer going to charge the $1.25 monthly FUSF (Federal Universal Ser vice Fund) fee. Reason being they were no longer going to be assessed that fee themselves from their DSL supplier. In the next paragraph, they proceed to tell us that they will begin charging a $1.20 a month for DSL Supplier Surcharge. So there ya have it, folks, I'll be saving a whooping sixty cents a year on my Verizon bill. How much ya wanna bet they raise that Supplier Surcharge to OVER $1.25 before the year is over? Of course, they end the email with that fake sincerity companies are known for..." we regret having to add this fee....blah blah...but we're money grubbing hawgs."

If there comes a time in your life when you're wanting to buy a car and in a moment of INSANITY you consider
buying a Kia, may I just toss this out to you? In order to get Mr. G's 8 year old Kia to pass inspection, we had to shell out $993 this week.
That work is probably only going to last us until next year's inspection and there is ONLY 53k miles on it.
Last year we shelled out $600 to get it to pass inspection. So may I reiterate something I've said many times: Kias are ONLY a
good buy if you buy it brand new and ditch it after four or five years.

In light of the fact that we shelled out so much money for the car, I've decided that we need to cut spending at Casa de Goddess,
so I sat the offspring down last night and we had a "little conversation." Translation: I yelled while they pretended to be listening
but I knew all along they were secretkt fantasizing about what it would be like to smother me in my sleep.
The cost of cigarettes and beer alone is outrageous, so I told them that from now all we will all be drinking crappy beer, probably Rolling Rock, and we will no longer be smoking. They seemed to take the news very well, then they immediately ran out and bought five cases of chewing tobaccky.

I love the spelling bee commercials for the upcoming CBS sitcom The Class. The one where they ask the chick to spell "denial" and she asks them to use it in a sentence is hilarious. It's along the lines of "? is always falling in love with gay guys. Her friends say 'wow, is she ever in denial!'"

I guess you've heard by now that Pluto is no longer an official planet but is now a dwarf planet.
My favorite headline about this story was CNN's "Pluto Gets The Boot."

Stephen Colbert had author/physicist Janna Levin
on his show yesterday and I can honestly say I didn't understand one word that woman was saying.
Oh wait, she started a few sentences with "well" and "actually." I understood those two words.

1 comment:

Mushy said...

I'll try leaving a comment one more time...I'm beginning to hate Blogger!

I like that song too!

Can't remember what else I said before - damn!