Monday, July 31, 2006

goodbye to shy

OH...MY....GAWD!! All my life I have waited to "find my passion". You know,
the one that all the self help books tell us we have hidden deep, deep within.
I used to think it was "helping others," but screw that.
I have found a much more delicious passion.
Yesterday, while teaching Holly how to make tasty, healthy semi-homemade
apple sauce--open jar of store brand applesauce, pour in bowl, add cinnamon--I was
flipping channels and came across a venture that is perfect for me: in home candy business.
I haven't been this excited since we bought those llamas. And you know what good eatin' they were! I sent for the info and when I get it, I'll tell you all about it.

BTW, "tablescape" is NOT a word, Mizz Sandra Lee!! Yes, I checked in the dickshunary.
Now, I've decided that every time I want to fakeabetize a new word, I'm adding "scape" to it,
JUST LIKE SANDRA LEE!!

What the HELL was Monique thinking when she appeared on The View and showed her GROSS hairy legs to the world?
I'm so tired of her being sloppy and passing it off as being indicative of a "real" woman.
"Real" women do not go around wearing sundresses with disgustingly hairy legs, but LAZY women do. Take some damn pride in your personal appearance when you're on national tv.
I don't even want to KNOW what her armpits look like! But frankly, I'm surprised she didn't show them, too.

Flipped over to VH1, and I have to admit, I was rather surprised to see Eva Longoria and
Christina Applegate in the new Jessica Simpson music video.
What an odd mix of ladies. I would have thought Jessica would have friends her own age.

As the senseless channel flipping continued, I saw a few minutes of Dr. Phil, which is the first time I've seen that show in a long time.
He had women on who thought they were being "bitches," when in actuality they were just ignorant, aggressive, rude jerks.
The one was just downright childish.
Their arrogance was amazing, especially the one who pushed people out of
her way on the sidewalk so she didn't have to step aside for anyone.
No damn wonder they didn't have two friends to rub together between the three of them.
My favorite was the black chick who said "men turned her into an evil ass bitch" because "men are dogs." Puhleeze.
The only person responsible for her being a jerk is staring back at her in the mirror every day.

And that's my two cents.

2 comments:

Ron Southern said...

Yeah, I watched some of that "bitch" shit. Dr. Phil will go any distance, swim through any filth, to arrive at a higher rating.

Goddess said...

God bless America!!
If I was that one chick's husband, I would have left a long time ago!