Monday, August 14, 2006

gonna harden my heart, gonna swallow my tears

Damn, those foreigners have a sick sense of humor. That dog looks like exactly Holly, except it's sitting still....

WW asked me to watch Trading Spouses last night. I was about two minutes away from dragging my sorry ass to bed, but I watched for a few.
I've seen the show a couple times and I don't like it much because it's always the same. They take one perfect mother, a woman who spends every waking moment devoted to her child's activities, a woman who can make $1.50 last six weeks and a woman who hasn't gone clothes shopping for herself since 1953. Then they trade her with a rich, bitch, spoiled woman, who can't even remember her kid's names because "that's the nanny's job,"--this really surprised me when I saw it because here at Casa de Goddess, the gardener's responsiblity to remember the kid's names because I simply do not have time for that trivial bullshit-- and
then they sit back and watch the frivolity ensue. They always paint one woman out to be a saint and one a lazy assed 'ho, to put it nicely.
The reason I don't like the show is because they exaggerate everything, and twist things to sound bad. For instance, if I was on Trading Spouses,
I just KNOW they'd make me look like a BAD mom.
They'd find some way to twist the fact that I bought the offspring several cartons of cigarettes and beer aka "school supplies," into something nasty.
Even though I refused to buy Male Offspring #2 Marlboros and saved by buying him generic cigarettes.

Guess what today is, kids? National Fudgesicle Da---nah, I don't think I can get away with that two days in a row.

Last night as I schlepped around the trailer in my pj bottoms and my "semi best mom in the whole wide world" shirt--note
to self: do not let Mr. G touch your
laundry again! what goes in, does not necessarily come out!--I heard a news story about NASA misplacing
the orginal tape of the moon landing. I yelled, "Honey, when did you start working at NASA?"

Sunday I was flipping channels and came across the show on Bravo featuring the lesbian trainer, Jackie. Work Out? I think it's called.
This rich chick Sarah said she "researched" trainers and chose Jackie because she was the best. Pfffft. Although she was married, it was quite clear Sarah was not adverse to getting in Jackie's pants and vice versa. Hell, it was so apparent they wanted each other you could smell their crotches burning.
The funniest part was when Jackie said, "Sarah's husband is so sweet. He's agreed to watch the children while
we go out for drinks and dinner." Not sweet, so much as *totally clueless*. I found myself becoming more and more annoyed as I watched all the handholding and flirting between these two twits. I think it was because she was blatantly dissing her rich hubby, who worked his ass off to afford her the lifestyle in which she could fly trainers to her mansion in the first place.

Some cops were questioning an older woman about an incident with her throwing stones at what she said was a "small child," on Beach Patrol:Miami Beach.
While they were trying to decide what to do, she tried to get ahold of her psychiatrist by phone but he wasn't in.
One officer said, "When was the last time you saw him?"
She replied, "A few days ago."
Another police officer said, "Do you have any, uh--"
And she broke in with, "Venereal diseases?"
He said, "No, psychiatric problems."
I think she answered his question....LOL!!


Mushy said...

I think you'd be a perfect "Wife Swap" candidate myself. You could be the one that teaches the RB how to really live!

Goddess said...

Whoops! I had the wrong show. Isn't there a Trading Spouses?

I could NEVER do this show because the NICE mother that replaces me would turn my offspring into malcontents. More so than they already are, of course. But there would just be no living with them. Not that there is now...ok, you get the gist of what I'm saying. LOL!

Mushy said...

Ah all those shows look alike to me, but I knew what you meant.