Thursday, August 24, 2006

dont you remember you told me you loved me baby

If I could pick any superpower, I think I'd pick the ability to freeze time. But then I wonder how often I'd use that superpower just get a good scratch off in public or to fondle some unsuspecting guy's crotch....

This morning I was behind a Brink's trunk. On the back were the words, "How's
my driving? Share a compliment or concern by calling 1-800-blahblahblah."
I thought, "Ya know, if they had those words on the back of police cars,
women wouldn't have to get arrested for calling 911 to find out the name of a hott cop."

Soooo I'm not the only one confused by the Barnyard movie. Bugs writes: My mother took
Da Buglet to see Barnyard the other day, and she asked me the same thing when she brought him home...."Do male cows give milk?"

Wow. I thought Mary showing up under that candy vat was amazing but now Jesus has shown up in the MRI of a Pittsburgh woman.
Geez these two just can't stay home these days, can they?
The woman insists you can see the crown of thorns, the feet and the hands nailed to the cross quite clearly in the xray of her spine.
She said her friends want her to put the picture up for sale on ebay--big surprise there--and she said she "might." Now, this is what really gets me about these people. If you sincerely believed that Jesus was in your pancakes, or your spine, or your shower tile, WOULDN'T YOU SAVE THAT PICTURE? I mean, what does it say about you that you freaking sell it on ebay? People have sports memorabelia that they refuse to part with, but Jesus and Mary get shuffled off to eBay? Damn. It occurs to me that the idiots who buy these sorts of things are worse than the ones that sell these sorts of things. They keep fueling the need for this kind of ridiculousness.
Geez, when Jesus made an appearance in my oatmeal, I didn't sell it to the highest bidder,
like some prostitute. I ATE IT. And with a little honey, He was really sacrilicious.

4 comments:

Mushy said...

Loved the 800 number and the Jebus part! Very funny!

I woke my dog up laughing at that, then she bit me, and you know, the mark she left looks amazingly like Madonna. Are they getting anything for those?

Goddess said...

Only if you're willing to saw your body part off and put it on eBay....

Ron Southern said...

sacrilicious! can't be beat!

I hope the dog didn't bite Mushy's dick if he's gonna sell the Madonna. Adding insult to injury, wouldn't you say?

Goddess said...

Yeah, even more so if he has to whack it off to sell it....owie!
(Note that I said "whack IT off" not "whack off"...LOL!)