Wednesday, August 02, 2006

bless your soul do you really think you're in control

Lordy, I love small town life. Only in my town do you see guys on riding
lawn mowers going through the Dairy Queen drive through window...

You know the one drawback to Bible school? The kids read the Bible.
And then yours truly has to hear all about it.
Yesterday Female Offspring #6 heard me say I didn't like Lurlene because
she's always bragging about that damn deck of hers.
FO #6 said, "Mommy, Jesus said you're supposed to love everyone."
I said, "I do love everyone, honey. Except for the people I don't like. Move along."

This is one of my favorite officer quotes from COPS: "Where else can you get a job where you get a car
to drive around the city and meet people, and get paid?"

Hmm, he seems to have conveniently left out that pesky possibility of getting SHOT....

What a sad lesson for a young girl to learn. No matter how "cute" it might look,
you can't staple rhinestones to the cat's tail.

Holy shit, Joan Jett is 45 years old and looks exactly the same!
May I just say that's not always a good thing...especially when the hair and makeup is still the same.

I had a rather ingenius idea to get my trailer housecleaned for FREE, but the offspring nixed it.
There's something called a Fresh Air Program in my area. That's where kids from New York city come here to
experience country living. They stay at your home for two weeks--juuuust about the amount of time
it would take to houseclean this dump. You feed them and take them to all sorts of
exciting places like the attic to clean, the backyard to clean and the garage to clean. I kid.
Of course you take them to exciting places they don't have in NYC, like Dollar General, DQ and Kroger.
The offspring nixed the idea because I told them they'd all have to sleep out in the "guest house" with Male Offspring #1,
while the city kids stayed in their room.

That Loan to Learn commercial pisses me off.
At the beginning of the ad, it shows a young girl getting a letter from a college she applied to.
She brings it into the house and lays it on the table, saying she's too "freaking out" to open it, thus dragging out the suspense
while the ad people lay all the boring information about the Loan to Learn program on us. Then, she picks up the envelope, says
"Keep your fingers crossed," and starts to open it as the commercial ends. WTF?? All freaking day I worried
about whether or not that twit was accepted into the school of her choice, and whether or not her parents could afford to send her.

A poll that was discussed on CNN yesterday
said 3 out of 4 women would rather have a widescreen tv than a diamond necklace. BULLSHIT.
I'm thinking GUYS manipulated that survey to try to trick women into buying widescreen tv's because
they know how competitive women are with each other.
Oooo, guys can be very clever when it comes to their electronics.

A 20 year old Pennsylvania woman is facing charges because allowed 4 kids she was babysitting to steal liquor.
They then brought the liquor home and they all drank it together.
Ok, big mistake. It's fine to get the younger kids to STEAL the liquor,
but you never want them to drink it with you. We all know what blabbermouths little kids are to begin with.
You add alcohol to the mix and they'll rat you out in a heartbeat.

I saw the commercial for the new 9/11 movie and it gave me chills.
I can't even think about watching a movie about that day.
It's just heartbreaking.


Gattina said...

Just dropped on your blog like a raindrop, so you have 16 kids, that's nice, I have only one and that was enough ! Did you ever calculate if all of your kids would also have 16 kids ? How many times would you be grandma ? You can take your calculator out and show me the result. By the way, why are there always two cops ? That's simple, one is there to read and the other to write ... (italian proverb) If on top of your almost cat family (cat mothers usually also have one father for one kitten, but that's why they usually had their heads in a garbidge can) you can go to my blog you still have time to travel go to : Now take care of N°1 - 16 !

Goddess said...

Hmm, I have no idea how many grandkids I'd have it my 16 each have 16. I try not to think about such horrible things:) Besides, it's best most of these offspring NOT procreate, if you know what I mean.

Love the cat eyes at the top of your page. I use the same ones on my Halloween page every year!

Oh, and I thought there were always two cops so we gals could get our choice of hot or hotter!