Sunday, July 09, 2006

nothing i do is good enough for you

New Reno 911 ep tonight on Comedy Central!!

The offspring are BEGGING me to take them to Columbus, Nebraska where organizers are building
what they hope to be the largest corn maze in the world, which opens in September. It's being cut in a 19 acre field
and if walked correctly, will take 15 minutes to travel. There are more than three miles of twists and turns to be made, so walked INcorrectly and you've got a couple hours of time tied up easily.
Ya know, this might not be such a bad idea for a vacation spot. If you lose a few
kids at the mall, the police are all over your ass calling you a "negligent mom", but you lose
a few offspring in a big ole corn maze and suddenly it's Columbus, Nebraska's fault.

While I'm on the subject of loving offspring, I spent a good bit of the weekend answering adoption notices in the paper.
(No, not for myself. I gave up on that dream....last year.)
People who place these ads tick me off. Sure, they
SAY they want to adopt, but when you send them pics and bios of some of
your offspring, nobody bites. I did the hard part. I lugged these kids around for 9 months--without putting them down ONCE, I might add, then I spurted them out. All I need now is for someone to raise them and put them through college. Not that there's much likelihood their IQ's will be high enough for college, but you never know. Male Offspring #8's daddy actually graduated from the 9th grade, so there's hope for him.

Kathy Griffin's Larry King interview has been rescheduled for Monday night, barring natural catastrophes.

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