Sunday, June 04, 2006

take it to the bridge, throw it overboard

Keith sends me this picture of a blonde's scale.

Must we continue to make fun of the blonde???
Apparently this is an acceptable predjuice.
I'm going to start a new group to stamp out this ridicule and show my intelligence,
called Don't Underestimate My Brains or D.U.M.B. for shor---ok now I'm thinking that might not be such a good idea.

FYI, fantasizing about giving blowjobs on the way to work is NOT very conducive to good driving...

WHO SINGS IT??? HELP!!! I heard a old song on the way to work that's driving me nuts. Can anybody tell me what it's called and/or the band?
The chorus is sung rather quickly with little pauses between the phrases, "Take to the bridge, throw it overboard, see if it will swim,
something, something, no one's in the house and the lights are on."

There was a report on CNN this morning about back pain. They were talking about people who sit at a
computer all day and have a phone cradled at their ear. The dr said, I recommend taking some sort of anti inflammatory."
Instead of recommending a damn chiropractor or neck exercises to loosen those muscles, he suggests pills. Because, as usual, kids,
the medical profession only knows how to treat symptoms. UGH.

I stopped at the post office to QUICKLY mail a bill this morning and when I came out I was stopped by two young
overly eager Mormon dudes who "wanted to talk to me about my salvation." I said, "Sorry, I don't want to hear this."
The one said, "Ma'am"---ok he lost ANY hope of me listening when he called me that--"you can't close your mind to this."
I said, "And yet, I just did. Have a good day, boys."

Of the Amish folks, Bugs writes: "Sounds like they were Mennonites."
Hmm, maybe they were. You see one chick in a long skirt, bonnet, white apron, and Reeboks, being accompanied
by men with long scraggly beards, hats, black pants, white shirts and suspenders ya pretty much seen 'em all.

My boss was listening to Love Connection the other day at work. Gawd, she loves that stupid show. Chuck Woolery was
talking to a guy about the state of his apartment. He was asking if it was always as neat as his date said it was when she was there.
The guy said, "Well, I do dust and vaccum every day, Chuck." My co-worker and I both looked at each other the minute he said that,
and at the same time we both said, "He's gay."

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