Thursday, June 22, 2006

riding along in my automobile

WORDS OF WISDOM: Stephen Colbert to Bart Erhman, author
of "Misquoting Jesus": "You're an agnostic? Isn't that really just an atheist without balls?"

These are the kind of mornings I love. I came into work early and the roads were clear and fairly quiet.
The calm before the storm. Today starts the huge motorcycle rally in the city. UGH.
Yes, before long the city will be awash in a sea of tie die t shirts and harleys and long haired--dare I say it?--HIPPIES!!
And this year, we'll have a "Burn Out Pit, " something that shows high intelligence and motorcycle "driving" don't necessarily
go hand in hand. In a "burn out pit," the driver takes his bike to a contained, safe area then spins the wheels so hard and fast until all
the rubber burns off of his back tire. I have a better idea--why not just take the money it would cost to replace the tire and light it on fire instead? You just KNOW that whole "burn out pit" idea came from the mind of a guy...
But I put all of that stupidity out of my mind.
I had the AC cranked up and "Little Bit O'Soul" was playing so loudly, I couldn't hear myself think.
Luckily, driving doesn't require any thinking.
AND they opened up one of "MY" bridges!! I cross two bridges on the way to work and
NATURALLY the city decided they both needed worked on at the same time.
So I was quite happy to drive through the city on this my last day of work for the next seven days.

Once again congress has refused to raise the federal minimum wage ($5.15 an hour), which hasn't been raised since 1997.
Republicans say raising it is a "job killer." Yeah, try LIVING ON IT!!! Hey, when the members of Congress go almost ten years without a raise,
then I'll place some stock in what the fuggers have to say.

BTW, I want you to know that yesterday when I said I take the neighbor's paper, I *always* put it back because I AM NOT A THIEF!!
Of course, I cut out all the coupons, cutesy little articles and do the crossword/word jumble puzzles first.

One state senator in Massachusetts has vowed to make the Fluffernutter sandwich, the official state sandwich, and she vows to "fight to the death."
Apparently the marshmallow crap that goes into the sandwich is manufactured in her district.
Now if the twit could only put as much effort into SOMETHING THAT REALLY MATTERS!!!!

I read a letter in Dear Abby yesterday that bugged me. The woman was traveling with her small children and she concerned as to how she was going to keep them entertained on the long drive. Her very practical mother in law suggested she give the kids Benadryl to make them sleep during the drive. Of course, Abby called it
"child endangerment." Now I axe you, why is it perfectly ok to give your dogs tranquilizers, but not your offspring? We all know dogs listen better than children and yet,
you can't drug the kids. I personally find that a big swig of Jack Daniels helps calm the kids down on long drives, and I don't have to worry those nervous Nellie's saying I'm endangering my kids by giving them drugs.

Female Offspring #7 spent all of Wednesday evening trying to call Donovan Patton, aka her "daddy,"
aka the dude from Blue's Clues. Mr. G said that the next time I lie to the kids, I need to be more vague and not name names.
He's right. Where would I be without his crackerjack parenting skills? Mine are shot to shit.

Wednesday morning was one of those days where it was 5:55 and I was standing at the mirror with wet hair, no makeup and no shirt on. I leave for work at 6 on Wednesdays.
I was running in all different directions, accomplishing nothing and then I stopped to remember the truly important things in life: I didn't update my Hottcops Blog!!
I mean, how important is it to show up to work on time anyway?

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