Sunday, May 28, 2006

them's good eatin'

For some oddball reason Blogger is being a dick with me this morning, making my type incredibly HUGE or incredibly small. Let's see how this one turns out...

Bugs told me about this cooking show called "Semi Homemade with Sandra Lee." I
had actually seen it once before (accidentally in a waiting room), but I didn't realize that was the show she was
referring to. I don't usually watch cooking shows because it would be the same thing as
me watching shows on how to perform dentistry. What's the point?
I won't be performing root canal and the only time I like to go to the kitchen is when the offspring have
supper ready. The first show I saw was her making a bean dip and she layered it in this deep, narrow
bowl, and I remember thinking at the time, "How the hell is anybody going to get down to that
third or fourth layer without shoving their entire hand into the bowl?"
But this morning's show was hoot. She was making breakfast for her sister and with her small nephew.
BTW, having the name Bryce is curse enough, don't call the poor child, "Brycey" and act like it's
affectionate. It's downright gay. What was funny about this show is the way she makes sugary and cholesterol clogging
garbage, all the while stating that they like the kids to eat organic and no sugar as much as possible.
This was the breakfast menu--she took a frozen pizza, smeared olive oil on it, then added two scrambled eggs, what looked like half of
an eight oz bag of cheddar, mozerella and monteray jack cheese, 2 sausage patties, tomatoes--ORGANIC, OF COURSE, parmesan cheese, and then Italian seasonings. I was disappointed. I kept waiting for her to drizzle SUGAR FREE melted chocolate over the entire mess.
The nephew made his mother a special muffin. He whacked it in half and put a mixture of cool whip and hershey's syrup
between layers of muffin and again on the top, because while it's ok that the kids should eat sugar
free whenever possible, apparently that rule doesn't apply to mom.
Mom firmly believes that words speak louder than actions. I like her way of thinking.
The drink for the kid consisted of milk, hershey's chocolate AND strawberry syrup. Good Lord.
The kids would be bouncing off the walls with that drink. The BREAKFAST drink for the adults contained coffee, chocolate liqueur and strawberry liqueur and whipped topping. Unless you're Anna Nicole (or Zal), who the hell drinks that sort of stuff for breakfast??
Then she made french toast with strawberries marinated in grand marnier.
As she's making that, once again she points out how her sister likes the kids to have NO SUGAR syrup ONLY. Bugs said she makes such wonderful things as cherry chocolate rice as a side dish and chocolate chip spaghetti sauce BBQ sauce. Why doesn't she just dunk everything into a five pound sack of Domino sugar mixed with Hershey's syrup and be done with it? Mmmm mmm not much that doesn't taste good dipped in chocolate.

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