Saturday, May 27, 2006

less thunder please

It ain't fair! It ain't fair! It ain't fair!
I just found out one of the local police officers is going to bring his K-9 dog to Female Offspring #7's second grade class to talk to the kids and show them the sort of work the dog does. So naturally I called the school and asked if I might "tag along" with FO #7 that day, and they told me I was NOT allowed on the premises for the presentation. Seems the principal has a rather long memory and he's concerned I might "come on" to the officer like I did during Male Offspring #4's assembly. That was a total misunderstanding! The cop and his dog passed my seat, and I said, "Woof woof" and I winked. But I SwEaR I was winking and woofing AT THE DOG.
And when I promised him a "treat if he was a good boy" AGAIN, I was talking to the dog!!

Bugs writes: "Britney is getting so much flack because she had a drink in her other hand. And didn't let go of the drink when she lost control of her son. I'm not even going to go into all the other crap she's done. [/end rant]"
Ok, personally, I think it depends on the TYPE of drink she was juggling. If it was beer, for instance, by all means drop it and take care of the kid!
But if it was one of those blue sparkly drinks that chick was making on the cooking show the other day, well, then, I'd really have to think about it.
I mean, on the one hand you have a poopy, smelly baby and on the other, blue, sparkly, mind numbing alcohol!! Ooooo, purdy.....


Now that summer is here, ladies, don't forget to shave your face. I kid you not. The hairs may be fine, but DAMN, you will be AMAZED at how much less you sweat. I saw some woman on Oprah talking about this and I thought, "Lady, you are INSANE.........hey, I'm gonna try it." Sadly, that's usually the extent of my thought processes. But make-up glides on soooooo effortlessly. My hair is blonde so you don't really see my facial hair but once I shaved it, my skin felt so much smoother.


Our town is hosting it's infamous motorcycle event next month. MAJOR UGH. The amazing thing is that this event has grown in leaps and bounds every year since it's inception. When they first announced it, I thought, "No way is ANYONE in their right mind going to come to this town to waste a weekend of their life they'll never get back." I was so wrong. Don't get me wrong. I heart my little corner of the country but I'm not kidding myself into believing we have what's called a "night life" around here. One time a friend of mine came in from the West and he asked me if we had any "art galleries" in town. I laughed so hard I nearly peed myself. Of course, he was coming from an even MORE backwater town in South Dakota, and thought my town was
"the big city." Not hardly. It's just more of a bigger backwater town, but I do feel safe here.

While I know it brings a lot of revenue to the town, I also know that the smell of money makes people greedy(ier). The food, for instance. I know the venders pay a fee to have booths, but do they have to charge $3 a pop for soda and $5 for friggin' french fries?

I think I'm most annoyed by the fact that it's difficult to negotiate through town, and I have to go through town to get home from work. And yessss, lucky me, I'll be working two days of the four. Tthey have one of the bridges torn up and it won't be ready in time, so that will make driving even more of a nightmare. What normally takes me five minutes takes me 25 minutes during this motorcycle love fest. Instead of parking their bikes like a car would park, they tend to park them out at angles. By the time they're finished parking on both sides of the street, you can barely get one car through, let alone two. The only good thing about the event is that the cops are out in full force, and that's never a BAD thing;)

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