Thursday, May 11, 2006

the age of aquarius

Now that I've banned all Chia Pets within 500 feet of the trailer and stopped eating sugar--two months and counting, thank you very much--the offspring are having a hard time coming up with something to buy me for Mother's Day.
They told me to come up with three suggestions. They are as follows:
1. Cake
2. Flowers made of cake
3. Chocolate made of cake....and chocolate

Angela writes: "Goddess, I read you bi interview and I have a question. My bf and I broke up two months ago. I strongly believe he's gay. He jokes about having sex with guys (is that normal???) and he kids around all the time but I think he's sereous. My problem is he keeps bothering me.
Calling me, emailing me and such. What should I do?"
My bi interview? I have no idea what that would be except for some interviews I did WITH bi folks.
I guess you're saying that you have no intention of getting back with him? You didn't say whether or not you're
responding to his calls or emails. If you are, I'd stop immediately. He wants your attention and as long as you continue to give it to him, he will continue to bother you. Oh, and as far as joking about having sex with guys, I can honestly say that none of my straight male friends have EVER joked about having sex with another guy, so you can take that anyway you want. Good luck.

Signing autographs and making public appearances now counts as community service for athletes? Wow. Could life GET any tougher for them?
Kurt Busch was given community service because he refused to take a "gay ass" sobriety test after being pulled over by the police.
Throwing out the ceremonial first pitch of a ball game counted as part of his community service. Give me a damn break.

On The Colbert Report, Stephen was making fun of the ridiculous glut of bird flu news stories which point out how horrible it's going to be and how we're all going to die. The Colbert Report worked up their own bird flu graphic and they used the Chicken Dance as their background music.

Here's an interesting programming note. On May 14th,
Comedy Central will have the first television showing of Bad Santa.

Apparently 'interracial' dating is not just for humans anymore. I saw a story on CNN about a bear that was shot in Canada.
While parts of it was white like a Polar Bear, it had the hump, claws and brownish snout of a Grizzly. And oddly enough the brown eye patches of a Grizzly, which looked downright clownish on a Polar Bear.
Hmmm, so I guess it's true. Once you go black (or brown) you never go back. Either that or one of them needs glasses...

OMG. Bush wants his twit of a brother Jeb to run for President?! Puhleeze.
I know it'll never happen, but the only "bush" I want to see in the White House better belong to some chick President.

Several schoolboys aged SIX to EIGHT years old sexually assaulted an eight year old girl at
school in St Louis by fingering her while she struggled to keep her panties on.
Six year old kids are freaking FIRST GRADERS.
My heart just breaks for that little girl, whose life is forever changed by this.
No one will ever be able to convince me that being constantly bombarded by
sexual images and words on tv, in print, and video games is not affecting our youth in a horribly negative way.
The Christian watchdog groups don't even need to point a finger at the porn industry, they only need to turn on the television or radio.
The kids idolize these rappers who hate on women and see them as nothing more than a means to their sexual fulfillment.
And it's in their homes daily courtesty of music video stations.
And it just pisses me off that people do not get that their young minds can't properly assimiliate the sort of material that adults can.
No need to be responsible about what you're putting out there, as long as you can make a quick buck. That's all that counts.

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