Saturday, April 22, 2006

since you've been gone i can breathe for the first time

The food industry certainly tries all the angles, doesn't it? In one of those small Jello Pudding cups, there are 17 grams of sugar. And yet, Kraft is now pimping the pudding as "Calci-YUM! A good source of calcium". Any benefits you might think you're getting health wise are going to be overshadowed by the enormous amount of sugar in the product. I also get a kick out of the way they put "a fat free product" on the package. Gummi Bears are also "fat free," but that doesn't make them good for you.

WW has started a hott bikers site. Bookmark it and check it outtttttttttt...

I like to have an apple and a small amount of cheese, natural peanut butter or unsalted nuts every day. Today I bought some extra sharp cheese and damn, it had that "few days away from being penicillin" taste to it. UGH.

Wow. Cynthia McKinney really pulls a lot of weight with news folk. When reporters tried to question her about the incident with a Capitol Hill police officer, she refused to answer the questions and left the room, microphone still attached and live. She went on to say they (the press) lied to her aide and her aide was a fool. She then came back into the room and said they could not use any audio of her once she left the room.
Needless to say CNN ran the audio.

I really wish the gubment would figure out once and for all what we're all going to die of so they can terrify us properly. I'm starting to lose faith in their terror tactics. A few years ago, we were all going to die of A.I.D.S. Then we were all going to die of S.A.R.S.
Now we're all going to die of the bird flu. Get it fucking *right* already, will ya? It's getting so that the minute I hear the words "global pandemic" I think, "yeah, whatEVAH."

I don't know who invented the Pet Vac, but they obviously can't have pets. The Pet Vac is something you attach to your vacuum and then you use the vacuum nozzle right on your cat or dog to pick up the extra hair. I've often said that if anyone wants to rob my home, they don't need to bring a gun, just a hand held hair dryer or a vacuum because my pets are terrified of both of them. And just try turning on the vac when the cats are around. Puhleeze. They can't run fast enough, and yet the inventor of this product shows them on the rug rolling around loving the vac?
Uh uh. Those pets are obviously high on something. Either that, or the Pet Vac isn't turned on.

Is it my imagination or do retired people worry about the dumbest things? Yesterday my mother
called all upset because the local paper was getting rid of the Jumble words in place of the Sudoku puzzle.
Then she said, "Email them for me and tell them we won't buy the
paper anymore if they get rid of Jumble." Now I enjoy doing the Jumble words, but hello.
Emailing the editor? I don't think so. I mean this is not like when Court TV was covering the names of cops and I emailed repeatedly. That was WAY important stuff!

Stephen Colbert skewered Ralph Nadar quite nicely Thursday night when Nadar said the people of the United States were not handling the gas crisis properly. He said instead of bitching about the prices and buying it anyway, we should band together and refuse to buy gas. Stephen Colbert said, "And how did you get here tonight, sir?" BWAHAHAHA. Ralph mumbled something about WANTING to walk but how difficult it is to walk in the area where Stephen's studio is located.

When you're struggling to pay for your gas, keep in mind that in oil rich Caracas they're paying the equivalent of TWELVE CENTS A GALLON.

I watched "Run the Wild Fields" yesterday on Hallmark. It was actually a pretty good movie. It was about a woman whose husband is missing in WWII and she is trying to run a farm with her young daughter, Pug. They find a stranger hurt on their land and nurse him back to health. The woman hires him to work around her farm and he becomes close to both Pug and the woman. It doesn't end at all like you think it will, though. The young girl who plays Pug, Alexa Vega, is excellent in her part.
The scene where Sean Patrick Flannery teaches Alexa to dance is so sweet.
While Sean Patrick Flannery is attractive, I liked the brooding, jealous neighbor played by
Cotter Smith soooo much more, especially when he wore his cowboy hat.
You know I like those older, sexy men.

Bugzzz writes: "Stumbled onto this site.
I don't know which is funnier, the original postings, or the added comments."
She's right. The comments are hysterical.
This comment was one of my favorites. One lady writes in: Well here is the problem my husband and i are having, I am due any day now and like the rest of you wondering what to name our daughter. I like the name Cicely and my husband wants the name Ticely. I have mixed emotions about that and my parents don't like it."
And the site owner commented: "How 'bout name her Shmicely and beat bullies to the punch?"
And this letter was beyond absurd, I feel sorry for the kid and I don't even know her: "I have a 7 yr. old daughter named Mariah Carrie [last name] ... as you can tell my husband really likes the singer and we even have a picture with the real Mariah Carey and my Mariah Carrie together. So we are expecting our second child in April and i think we should stick with a singer/star name since we started it with Mariah, yet we call her maya. Sex is unknow so if its a boy I like: Marc Anthony and if its a girl: Aaliyah Marie. What do you guys think? any suggestions? any star/singer names?"
The site owner replied: "[No comment, just the sound of muffled weeping.]"


Bill Cook said...

pretty funny.

Goddess said...

Thank you, suh.