Friday, April 07, 2006

no attorneys to plead my case

Cartman: "How would you feel, Kyle, if there was a cartoon on tv that made fun of Jews all the time?"

Calling the monkeys in tech support is getting to be as annoying as going to the doctors anymore. I called this morning because I couldn't get a dial tone on my laptop. It made the slight clicking noise when the port opens, but then nothing. I can always tell when I get a monkey who doesn't know their ass from a hole in the ground. The conversation went something like this:
Tech Monkey: "Ok let me check a few things that I think it might be. Oh, you have an 80 gig hard drive. That's nice and big. You have 512 mb of ram, not bad. Hmm, you didn't renew your virus protection. Would you like to do that now? We sell McAffee."
Me: "What I'd *like* is for you to tell me what's wrong with my computer."
Tech Monkey: :"Well, it might be caused by a virus."
Yeah and my ass might be skinny but it isn't....
Me: "I'll get that taken care of myself. I have a promotional price for an update."
Tech Monkey: "Ok but I'm going to mark that you're running around out there with no virus protection.
I'm running aorund out there with holes in my underwear, too, why don't you fucking write that down?
Me: "Well, I could almost consider that if it wasn't for the fact that up until I logged off last night it was working perfectly fine."
Tech Monkey: "What about spyware? Do you need to buy some of that today?"
At this point, I am like BARELY hanging onto my temper.
Me: "I have spyware. Could we please focus on the problem with my not having a dial tone?"
Tech Monkey: "Does anybody else have access to your computer."
Me: "NO. The is MY laptop and no one else has ever used it."
Now this is how GOOD the tech monkeys are at ferreting out potential problems.
Tech Monkey: "Was it left out for maybe a cat to walk on it?"
Unless it was a 150 pound Mountain Lion, what the hell difference does it make?!

Tech Monkey: "Well, this is a really new computer and it's a good computer, too--"
Me: "Umm, not so good when you consider this is about the third time I've had to call for a problem and I haven't even made a payment yet."
Praise Jebus for that "six months, no payments" deal!
I have no patience for this sort of bullshit because it reminded me of when I was having health problems a couple years back and I went in with on specific complaint and the fuckers addressed everything BUT my complaint and I just had the same damn feeling today.

My Pur Minerals have arrived. I haven't had time to use the 4 in 1 foundation but when I do, I'll let ya know how it works. One thing, if you see a mineral makeup on an infomercial, don't order it through the infomercial if you are anxious to try it out right away. It can take 6-8 WEEKS to get your first shipment. If you like it, then order more through the infomercial cuz they can put you on an automatic delivery schedule. I ordered the Pur Minerals from Shop At Home NBC on the afternoon of the 3rd and I got it in the mail yesterday already.

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