Monday, April 10, 2006

it's a heartache nothing but a heartache

Oh lordy, I AM NOT ALONE!!! Today the nurse came to see my boss and I pointed out to her that there was a test my boss was supposed to do--and I won't go into specifics--but it hadn't been done. It's something she had to do herself, but at her age, she might have needed help with it. The nurse said, "Yeah, I gave it to Overtime Hawg and she said she'd just let you do it."
I rolled my eyes and said, "Yeah, that seems to be the phrase of the day around here."
This test has to be completed over three days, so I said, "Ok, I'll have the boss start it on Friday, so that Overtime Hawg knows how to do it." The nurse started to laugh, then she said, "She's really "something," isn't she?" Again I just rolled my eyes. She said, "How in the world did she even get this job?" I said, "How did she 'get' it or how does she 'keep' it? I don't know the answer to either one."

On a never ending quest to be a better mom--you know me, I won't rest until I get that coveted Mother of the Year award--I was reading an article about how you can get closer to your children. One of the suggestions was to do something they enjoyed doing. So right now 15 month old Male Offspring #8 and I are laying on the couch watching The Young and The Restless and COPS while drinking from our bottles. His has formula, mine has my own special "formula." Hey! It's what the child ENJOYS doing! I know because I asked him, "Do you want to take a nap or lay here with me watching The Young and The Restless and COPS?" Judging from the way he's all snuggled up, he's made his choice. He obviously has good taste in tv shows.

A local chuch is reacting parts of the Passion on Good Friday, including the
carrying of the Cross for several miles. But get this--the cross is on WHEELS!
I'm guessing the Crown of Thorns isn't made of real thorns either! Probably plastic. What a rip off.
Jesus is probably turning over in His---oh wait. He's not there anymore. Never mind.

Yesterday I took my 88 year old dad to the mall. He needed underwear or some such
nonsense. We hadn't been at the mall for more than ten minutes and he wanted to sit. Sit?!
I'm like, "Dad! Chop, chop! If you don't use your muscles, you're going to lose 'em. Besides, I don't
like to keep starting and stopping. It's hard on my Hoveround!" He gets winded so easily. Sigh.
And yet I can ride for miles without even breathing hard. Well, not *really* hard.

Ok, Jay, here's *my* idea of "too much information":
From the Activa commercial...Girl #1: "Hey, you wanna go out?"
Girl #2, who is wearing a pained expression and holding her stomach: "I'm bloated...irregular."
I'm thinking a simple "yes" or "no" would suffice.

The guy in front of me had a "Kerry/Edwards" bumpersticker on his car this morning. I kind of lost track of that race.
What ever happened? Did they win or what?

You know what singer I really miss and would come out with a new single? Bonnie Tyler. Yes, the "It's a Heartache" chick. She has such a fantastic voice. She did an excellent version of "Band of Gold," the old Frieda Payne song and another great version of "Have You Ever Seen the Rain?" I just HOPE TO GOD, she never does a Jim Steinman song again. "Total Eclipse of the Heart" went on into infinity, as does every other Steinman song.

I thought it was awful that the 911 operator scolded the little boy from Detroit who called when his mother collapsed. I realize they probably have their share of prank calls, but to tell him she was going to send the police and he would be in trouble if he didn't stop "playing on the phone" was wrong. Especially in light of the fact that they teach kindergarten kids to call 911 in an emergency. If they then threaten them with the police, they're going to be afraid to call. Unfortunately, he wasn't playing on the phone. His mother had collapsed and was dead. I sense a lawsuit on the way...

My favorite new time waster? Playing Family Feud online

Bugzzz writes: "Ahh, the Pasta Express. "Watch it cook before your very eyes!!" Gosh, I thought that was what I was doing when I would make it in a pot. Somewhere, there is a warehouse full of those damned things, and some poor warehouse worker going crazy looking at them all damn day.

I found this. The stupidest things I have ever seen in my life. And they were all issued US patents.

One of my favorites. Follow up your dream vacation with a trip to the chiropractor!! Wheee!"
Just shows you don't have to have a GOOD invention to get a patent, eh? I liked that "Chill Frill" muhself. It's a pillow that actually goes up and over your head. I do that with my blankets and Mr. G calls it "cocooning up". Damn. I had no idea I could make money off of the fact that he keeps the trailer freezing cold.

There our railroad tracks in our hometown that run alongside a ramp leading onto a bridge. It's such a weird feeling when you're driving in one direction and there is a train right alongside you speeding in the opposite direction.

Heads up for all you Pink fans, she's going to be on Oprah today.

My girlfriend bought that stupid new pasta maker they're advertising on tv. I could not believe she suckered for that stupid thing.
When I make spaghetti, I boil the water, toss in the 'sketti let it boil about three minutes, then turn it off and put the lid on. I let it sit for awhile and it pretty much cooks itself. Now they have this great new TIMESAVER called the "Pasta Express." All you have to do is put your dry spaghetti into the plastic tube, boil water, pour it over the spaghetti and put the lid on it. Wow. That is SO MUCH SIMPLIER than the way I always make it.
The commercial for the product is great though. Especially the part where it shows the woman trying to drain her spaghetti into a strainer and most of it goes in the sink, proving that people with lousy aim should NEVER make spaghetti.

2 comments:

ChrisWoznitza said...

Hi ich bin Chriswab aus Bottrop !! Viele GrĂ¼sse !!

Goddess said...

Hi, back! I'm German, also. Just don't speak it or read it...LOL;)