Friday, April 21, 2006

goodbye my lover

Did you ever start watching a tv movie and it's so bad that you just can't stop watching?
"Close To Danger" on the Lifetime Channel was that movie for me today.
It's a ridiculous movie about this guy who is writing about committing a murder and then he becomes obsessed with actually committing murder himself. The chick who is editing his book figures out early on that she is the woman in the story and when he confirms that she is, she says, "What are you going to do to her?" And he says, "Kill her." Now does this sending her running and screaming into the arms of the hottest cop on the force? Nay. But I was hoping. Heck, it's what I would have done. No, instead she breaks up with her boyfriend and starts dating the nutjob because "He's exciting! He's into looking into his mind!" He's insane is what he is.Then when she finally realizes, hey this guy could be one fig short of a newton, she starts panicking and goes to the police, who for some reason won't listen to her until she finds to detectives who try to help. Then she gets on this "I want to help him" kick. Good grief, this character is probably one of those twits who write to mass murderers in jail professing their love for them.
BTW, I'm totally ticked that the detective walks around in a gawdy flannel shirt and looks like a punk who hasn't bathed all week, whereas the nutjob wears a tux the night he tries to kill a chick. Gawd, it was bad, and sadly enough, based on an also boring true story.
Ya know, ONCE, JUST ONCE, I'd like to see a weekend of COMEDIES on Lifetime, instead of all these gruesome murder/rape/i slept with your kid movies.

Being the super good mother that I am, I didn't say anything when Female Offspring #5 used her Gem Magic to put
crystals on my lampshades or blue studs on my bath towels, but rhinestone-ing all my underwear is the last straw!!

Today is Earth Day so make sure ya French kiss the soil at some point in the day.

No COPS tonight!! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... Damn NASCAR.

Hi ho hi ho it's back to work I go...

I had yet another conversation with Male Offspring #1 about his job possibilities now that he's (finally) graduated high school. Mr. G was upset because he told him he wanted to be a drug informant. He said, "Does he understand all the risks involved with a job like that?" I said, "Honey, he's my kid let me handle this." I called Male Offspring #1 out of his bedroom and said, "You do realize that a drug informant is NOT someone who scouts out all the best places to buy drugs and then informs his friends so they can buy their drugs there, right?" Needless to say, we scratched that potential job off the list, too. We've eliminated so many job options that at this point, I think we're down to butcher, baker or candlestick maker. And since he has a dreaded fear of Crisco, I think we can safely eliminate "baker."

Eric writes: "Umm, I notice you've labelled this officer [ed: the dog I wanted for Holly's dog friend] a "hott cop." Is there
something about yourself you haven't been telling us, Goddess?"
LOL...nope. It's just to differentiate between sites. I save all my pics in the same folder and hey,
when ya have 25 sites like I do...ok, I don't exactly have 25, but some days it feels that way.

I'm wondering how long it's going to take before my dentist's receptionist wises up? Every time I make an appointment--which is usually only when something is wrong--she'll say, "Ok, I've scheduled you for blah blah, but I'm putting you on the cancellation list and if something opens up sooner, I'll call you," and I say, "Good idea," as if I really mean it. We both know that she's going to call and I'm going to fake up an excuse as to why it's not satisfactory with me and come in on the date I originally scheduled, so why must we play this wicked game any longer? I *hate* going to the dentist. What are the chances I'm going to voluntarily go in ahead of schedule? NONE, believe me.

There's a woman I chat with online who is totally into everything New Age. I believe in some things, like we create our worlds by our thoughts and our words have greater impact than we realize, but I don't buy into everything. I was talking to her about this Writer's Digest contest and I said, "I still don't know what I want to enter, be it personal essay or feature article." She said, "Become still, go within and ask your inner child what it wants to do." She's *very big* on asking your inner child stuff, which just makes me feel like I'm talking to myself.
I said, "Ok, I asked my inner child and she said she wants to lay on the couch, drinking Diet Pepsi, and consume large amounts of chocolate while watching The Young and the Restless and COPS." Hmmm, odd. I would have guessed she wanted to pop wheelies on my Hoveround.
So now she's pissed off at me. My online pal, not my inner child. She's taking a nap.

Speaking of hotties...we were, right? Check out the pic I posted today
my hottcops site, Sgt. Rick Thompson.
Damn. He is super fine. Renews my faith in mankind. Among other things...

See? It never fails. Remember when I told you about the Writer's Digest writing contest and how I usually see it and think, "hmm, I ought to enter," and then next thing ya know, it's over? Well, I was cleaning yesterday and of course got distracted by other things. I opened up my latest copy of Writer's Digest and son of a gun! I am no closer to deciding on a piece than I was before and it's over May 15th!
So now I have the application taped right to the middle of my mirror. Let's see how many hours it takes until I don't even see it anymore.

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