Tuesday, April 25, 2006

dont you wish i'd take you back

Martha Stewart is planning a new magazine aimed at YOUNG, modern, multitasking women, between the ages of 25 and 45. It's a magazine that will show women "how to do things." (Could we be more vague?) No word on whether or not one of those "things" will be how to land your ass in jail.
And HA! The bitch is too damn old for her own magazine. YES the fact that she insinuated anyone OVER the age of 45 is old STUNG!!

Today I heard one of the best excuses ever as to why a girl gave a cop the wrong birth date. First she said she was nervous and "forgot" her birthdate and last name, then she said, "My birth certificate is really wrinkled you can't tell the date."

I'm pissed that a local company is not living up to it's ads. It said, "We GUARANTEE we can get rid of anyone's pests."
So I called and explained to him about the pests I've been dealing with for years, and how I just can't seem to shake them no matter what I try. He listened patiently, then finally said, "Ma'am, I'm no expert, but I think you should just have your tubes tied." I said, "Hey, I have a better idea, how 'bout I close the barn door after the horses are out?!" Sigh. He was no help whatsoever.

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