Wednesday, March 22, 2006

maybe somethings wrong with you that makes you act the way you do

A big THANK YOU to Officer Genualdo for sending me a couple pics.
They were FABULOUS, especially the one of him holding his gun.
Behave. It really WAS a gun.
BUT the second pic--the bare chested one is gonna look SWEET as wallpaper for my laptop!

I don't know Heidi Pike Johnson, I've never had any dealings with Heidi Pike Johnson and I have no idea whether or not the things they say about her are true. I don't know if she screwed somebody who belonged to someone else, took bribes at AVN or even if she deserves to be the XRCO trophy chick, but I've never let inconsequential
things like that stop me from offering my opinion in the past, so why start now? I read that Heidi lost weight, so no matter what is said about her, she has an automatic "get out of hell" free card. She can ALWAYS fall back on the "they're just JEALOUS" defense. It never solves/settles anything, but it sure as hell makes the user feel superior, doesn't it?

I was listening to one of Saddam's air force generals on TV today and he said Saddam did indeed have WMD,
but he took them to Syria before we invaded Iraq. Yeah, not like we didn't give him ample notice of our arrival. Hell, we did everything
short of a Hallmark greeting card. "Sometimes people don't get along, and even though it hurts, it's best to separate. Other times, separating isn't the answer. War is. We'll be arriving March 20, 2003. Don't bother to meet us at the airport, we'll be bringing our own transportation."

I was coloring my hair today--extra light ash blonde, thank you very much--and it always makes me laugh that they include plastic gloves so we don't get any of the dye on our hands. Yet the dye sits on the skin covering OUR BRAINS for up to 45 minutes--if you have stubborn gray--so what the hell? Our hands are more important than our brains?! And no blonde jokes, PLEASE. You're all just JEALOUS of my blondeness!!

I have installed *yet another* blog stats program. Let's see how many minutes it takes for this one to go belly up....

I nearly fell out of bed yesterday morning at 3 a.m. when the phone rang. How many GOOD news calls do you get at that time of the morning? Apparently the chick who was working night shift couldn't find the blood pressure monitor and she was calling me to ask where it was. I told her where I saw it last and she says, "Hold on while I look." Yeah, cuz I certainly have nothing better to do at 3 a.m.
Mr. G was *really* upset that she called. He said, "Why didn't she look for it before she got you out of bed?"
I said, "Honey, that would be too easy."

Gentlemen, I have but one question to axe you: Is *your* quiver full???
Bugzzz writes: "JimBob and Michelle Duggar have 16 children ranging in age from 6months old to 17. There are two sets of twins, and there are 10 boys and 6 girls. The family practices the quiver full method of parenting. Basically, they feel that children are a gift from God (and I agree, they are...however) and that they will continue to have children until God tells them when to stop. They do not worry how much this will all cost because "God will provide". To thier credit, none of them are on public assistance.

They have had three TV specials on the Discovery networks, and one on TLC. You can find more descriptions of their antics here. Snarkieness abounds!

Oh, and the next installment about the Duggars will air sometime in June. Apparently, they are headed to the Grand Canyon. Whee-doggie!
The special is called, "On The Road With 16 Children". Where I live, that's called going to an away game.

Man, unless you have seen one of these TV specials, it's really hard to see how cult-like this family is. It's like a train wreck, you cannot help but watch. All of the female children act subservient, they live on a 20 acre plot of land in Arkansas with the hope that "after the children marry, they will be able to build thier own homes right here next to us", they have formed thier own church in thier home and everything that they purchase is tax deductible....the list goes on and on. (NOTE: I have no problem with how people raise thier children, as long as abuse is not involved, and I also take no issue with those that choose to practice a different religion than mine...however....when you turn into a family of reality show flamewhores and televise your entire life, and get tons of free stuff in the process, then I think you are just asking for criticism). Just my two cents."
Let me just say one thing first off--THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HAVING 16 OFFSPRING!!
That having been said, how many times have you heard the phrase, "You want something to cry about, I'll GIVE you something
to cry about!" while watching those specials? You better say A LOT or else! Cuz if she's one of thosegoody two shoes, 'I just luv my kids
lemme show ya their latest macaroni and glitter pictures" kinda moms, who never raises her voice, I'm not tuning in.
And they better have at least one kid that sets stuff on fire.
Hmm, Quiver Full Method, never heard of that one. I always subscribed to the "eh screw that condom.
what are the chances I'm going to get pregnant anyway?" method myself. 16 offspring later I'm thinking maybe it's not working
so well for me. BTW, what the hell IS a quiver? The last time I quivered I was using my Hitachi Wand, and now I'm trying to figure out if my quiver is full.
But hey, three tv specials??? Clearly I'm not pimping these kids as enthusiastically as I could be! Flamewhores they be!
Sure it's wrong to pimp your kids out for the bored tv community to make fun of,
BUT if that endeavor translates into $$$ and lots of it, how can it be a bad thing??
Haven't you ever heard the song "If Pimping You Is Wrong, I Don't Wanna Be Right"?
If you go to the Quiver Full site--and you really should--read the article on the dangers of vascetomy
and then somebody explain to me how they think a man
is susceptible to LUNG CANCER because he's had a vasectomy? I mean,
unless his cock was ...wait for it........................smokin'....bwahahahahaa!

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