Sunday, March 05, 2006

and here we go again i'm starting on my own

Ash Sunday

MSN had an article on how not to break up. I think the worst would be the disappearing act. A person says they're going out for coffee and cigarettes and twenty years later, you're still sitting therewaiting on those cancer sticks.
I can't even imagine how traumatic that would be when you're dating, let alone when you're married to someone and they pull that crap. The article didn't mention my all time favorite, the "it's not you, it's me" routine. You do know that REALLY means it's you, right?
I prefer the break up through poetry maneuver.
[With apologies to the REAL poet, ATP.]
This would be a break up poem from a female. Here goes:
"Roses are red,
violets are blue,
you can't commit,
I'm through with you."
P.s. Maybe we can still be friends? Go out sometime and have coffee? A dinner now and then?

This would be a break up poem from a guy:
"Roses are red,
violets are blue,
I fucked you
and your sister , too. We're through."
p.S. I want my stereo equipment back, bitch.

I have to admit in reading those sorts of relationship articles, I resent those books that really talk down to people, like "It's Called a Break Up Because it's Broken." How stupid do they think people are?

Patti writes: "Goddess, can boobs grow overnight?"
Yes. Most boys have a growth spurt between the ages of 10 and 15,
so if they're within that age range they could grow 'overnight'.
Oh! I'm sorry. I just realized you said, "boobs." Eh, same difference.

Of my manly man studs, Eric writes: "That's awful open-minded of Mr. G!
Do you let him keep stud-ettes anywhere?"
"Stud-ettes"?! You've aroused the jealous Goddess within!!
Do not mention that word again lest I banish you to the depths of Internet Hell.....
which is somewhere located somewhere between and

This is really cool. Click here to see a U.K. promo featuring an UNanimated version of the Simpsons' opening sequence.
In other words, they use real people. While the music teacher is dead on, as are the twins in
the music room, I think Homer looks more like the blues musician or even comic book guy and both of their
names escape me. I love the expression on "Baby Maggie's" face as she's going across the checkout scanner!

Goddess' Hott Cop O'The Week award goes to: Officer Roger Bell from Gwinette County, Georgia. Here's the sad thing about Hottie Bell--he just got married.
Can I get an "aaaahhh, SHIT!" from all the single gurls?!
Second Hott Cop award for the night goes to:
Officer Stacey James of Fort Worth, Texas. Ooo, he was strong & forceful.

I seriously think they need to change the name of the show from COPS to "COPS featuring Officer Ryan Cook", cuz I swear he's been on the last three or four weeks in a row. And if I'm not seeing him on
Saturday nights, I'm seeing him on Court TV during the week! AND he's on again NEXT week!

I called the garage yesterday and they said I can keep the studs on the Hoveround until
April 15th. Phew! Good thing. I was worried about getting bogged down in the driveway.
It's hard to shovel and drive at the same time, but I manage!

The Steelers dumped Willie Williams along with Tommy Maddox.
I didn't know Williams would get das boot--but I guess he IS getting older now--
but who didn't know Maddox was going bye bye?

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