Sunday, February 12, 2006

whats all these crazy questions you're asking me

Saddam Hussein's lawyers retracted their earlier statement that their client
was going to go on a hunger strike. DO WE GIVE A FUCK?! No wonder he quickly changed his mind.
He knew people would be counting down the days...

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS GODDESS SAN DIEGO? Well I had an interesting conversation with Zal and he informs me that I'm in Italy covering the Olympics. Who knew?
Besides Zal, I mean.

I'm reading an article in the Sunday Parade magazine--yes, they have Sunday newspapers here at the Olympics. On the front cover in blaring headlines it reads," 'She was always the woman I loved,' Country singer Garth Brooks waited 18 years before he could marry Trisha Yearwood."While this sounds ooh so romantic for Ms. Yearwood, can you imagine how it would make Sandy, Garth's EX-wife feel? To know that she gave him 18 years of her life, 18 years that he now says he was in love with someone else? She put up with him when he was a nobody. You might have these sorts of feelings, but that doesn't mean you have to be so tactless as to reveal them to the world. Sandi IS still the mother of his kids, and those sorts of comments have to be humiliating.

OLYMPIC UPDATE: So far we have two gold medals and one silver!!! No idea what they're for....

Weather Channel reporter in Quincy, Mass: "By NO MEANS do you need to be outside in these types of conditions."
Where was he? Standing outside in those conditions...oy.

Both eps of COPS are repeats on Saturday. BITE ME, FOX!!!!!

DAMN IT!! 16 offspring later,I find out that I know NOTHING about birthin' babies. WEll, the birthin' part I know, apparently I know nuthin' after that. I took a Huggies quiz on MSN and didn't get one correct answer! Here are the q's with my answers....
Peek a boo is important because it teaches kids.....that you will one day leave and never come back? wrong-- sigh.
starting solid foods should not begin until after the 6th month because....thats when the WIC checks kick in? wrong--sigh
during the period immediately after birth, eye contact, touching and sounds between you and your newborn are all part of a process called...."bonding with your little deliquent"? wrong-- sigh.
what color pattern would be most visible and interesting to a newborn....white? wrong--sigh.
one of the most important developments during the first month is the arrival of your baby's first....child support check? wrong--sigh.
I don't care WHAT the Huggies people say, that last one is right!

Hi, kids, it's Goddess, your Olympics correspondent. I'm standing here
in sunny, breezy wherever the Olympics are being held and I must say,
it's absolutely beautiful here in this country. Daytime temps are in the
90's and night time temps are in the 70's and my hotel is within walking
distance of the Atlantic Ocean. What's not to love about that?! And guess
where I'll be swimming tomorrow???
Not to worry, I will be here the entire three weeks of the Olympics, so you won't miss a thing. I'll be your front row seat to all the excitement.
I'm happy to report that as of yesterday afternoon the Americans
had won their first gold medal! It was won by a mucho handsome young man
wearing a tight, tight, tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight spandex suit. I'm not sure
what the sport was, or what his name was, but who gives a fark? He's good looking and he's got
a taut body and he damn well deserved that medal.
Michelle Kwan called me last night and told me she was thinking about dropping out. I'm like, "Michelle, baby, drop out. Then you and I can go out and get dead drunk. There's always next year!" So that's what we did. We met up with a bunch of speed skaters and got drunk off our asses. Then I spent the rest of the night trying to find the Atlantic Ocean so we could go swimming. Now I might not know what city we're in and I might not know what country I'm in, but damn it, at least *I* know the Atlantic Ocean is around here somewhere! Yet all the whereverweare-ites were like, "Um it's in the United States." Dumb asses.

The Today Show had fashions by designers from the city where the Olympics are being held. One was an Incredibly STUPID blouse where the "lip" of the collar went UP OVER YOUR MOUTH. Kinda like if you took a turtle neck and unfolded it up over your mouth to your nose. Now I'm sure a lot of guys would like this blouse for their dates or nagging wives, but sometimes what passes for "fashion" annoys the hell out of me. Who could/would wear something so stupid? Campbell Brown is like, "It's cute!" Oh puhleeze. Let's see you wear it while doing your reporting duties, Campbell.

A guy on CNN, talking about how the U.S. border patrols feel the Mexican military are helping drug smugglers, said, "If you aren't worried about protecting our borders, you aren't worth a bucket of warm spit." Ewwwwwwwwww. Not on an empty stomach, first thing in the morning, please.

Madonna reportedly told Grammy producers that she wanted the lead in
spot over Mariah Carey or she was a no show. Yet In a recent Harper's Magazine interview, Madonna was quoted as saying she's grown as a person, "You become less impulsive, less reckless, less careless, less selfish....In those respects, I've changed a lot." You keep saying it and maybe at some point, we'll buy it. But I doubt it.

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