Friday, February 17, 2006

that's "miss bitch" to you

Ok now that I have come out of my double cheeseburger induced coma..time to update.
I think if we ever want to invade a(nother) foreign country, we should forget the
guns and tanks and hand grenades and force them to eat McDonald's
cheeseburgers. They'll be lethargic and sleepy within minutes. If we just
keep force feeding them the burgers, we'll be able to take over their
country in a matter of days.
Today Mr. G and I were out doing some errands
and we decided to stop and get double cheeseburgers at McDonald's. At
McDonald's, cheeseburgers are .99 so it only seems right that DOUBLE
cheeseburgers are $1. I didn't eat any breakfast,
so we came home and I made some fries, and we each had two double csheeseburgers and I had a cup of hot Yerba Mate tea.
I rarely EVER nap in the afternoon, but fifteen minutes after we finished eating,
we were BOTH in bed sound asleep. I slept for FOUR HOURS!!!

SodaPop sent me one of those MEME things--or whatever they're called--it was like a questionnaire about yourself, which, I, of course answered oh so truthfully. Two of my fav questions and my answers are:

Four places you have lived:
1. Shady Hill Village (trailer court)
2. Pine Treasure Estates (trailer court)
3. Havenwood Manor (trailer court)
4.Hell (also probably a trailer court)
Dang, forgot to list "Front seat of my Kia."

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Under a hott cop
2. Spread eagle on the front of a police cruiser
3. Backed up against a hott cop
4. Anywhere WARM near the ocean (and hott cops)
I'm probably the only person on SodaPop's list to get turned on filling that out....

About my comments on the MSN article on "insider tips from men," Eric writes:
"Well, it would be nice to know where she's getting these
generalizations, wouldn't it?

On one episode of *Penn & Teller's Bullshit* – I think it was the
"Business of Love" one – they had a former employee for
*Cosmopolitan*, with face and voice disguised, explain how they would
have female staffers come up with ideas for what an article would say,
then find a man who was willing to pen something compatible with that.

One thing I think is true is the part about women's looks. Research
shows that most men prefer women with more meat on their bones than the
typical model. As Bill Maher likes to point out, the fashion industry is
mostly run by women and gay men."
Like I said yesterday, I think women are much harder on themsevles than men will ever be. I think part of our problem is that we keep pointing out our flaws to them. We need to learn to keep our mouths SHUT. I mean if you keep hearing, "My ass is fat," over and over, eventually you'll think, "hey, her ass IS fat!" We tend to be our own worst enemies.
I did read a really GOOD article on MSN the other day and now I can't find the doggone link. I think it was called "No Roses, Please." It was written by a woman who has been in a 17(?) year relationship and she pointed out that in long term relationships the grand romantic gestures are NOT what's important--it's the every day things that really matter. Like when it's snowing and blowing and I come home from work to find that Mr. G has opened my garage door for me so I don't have to get out of the car and do it myself.

I was reading some comments made by Mary Kate Olsen and she was talking about her painful break up with her boyfriend. She said she needed to do Yoga and read scripts and go on auditions because those were the things that made her happy. She's taken a break from her studies because she says writing papers doesn't make her happy. I gotta say that if I were her age and worth $150 million dollars I would NOT be wasting time doing things that don't make me happy, even if it was getting a degree. Maybe it sounds bad to say it, but I would be traveling and getting some life experience and enjoying my money, especially if I had been working since infancy. The last place I would be is a classroom. I mean really, what are the chances those girls are ever going to get a job other than working for themselves or in entertainment? And I'm guessing they've gotten more business experience working in their company than they have in a classroom.

So Mr. Lachey is asking for spousal support from Jessica Simpson. He is also asking for half of all of their property. How does everyone feel about this? Personally, I think it has quite the gigolo ring to it. While I do believe he's entitled to SOME of the property, he didn't make nearly as much as she did, so support AND half seems like a lot to me. I can't believe the blonde twit didn't make him sign a prenup.

Ya know that story the press is peddling about Olga Pyleva being booted from the Olympics because of doping? Not true. She got the boot because she told Katie Couric to "go suck a big one" when Katie told her she looked "cute" in her Olympic gear.
Hey, I was sitting right there in my Hoveround when it happened!
I know it to be true as sure as I know Harry Whittington will never again use the words "Hit me with your best shot" around Dick Cheney.
And when American biathlete Rachel Steer was quoted as saying, "Oh my goodness! I just noticed they said she was sick, and I saw her last night -- and she didn't look like she was getting sick."
She REALLY said, "Fucking A! That bitch was using!" Again, just a little insider "dope" [Ar ar arrrrrrr]
from your on the spot Olympic correspondent.

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