Friday, February 24, 2006

every day is a winding road

Goddess' Hott Cop O'The Week Award goes to: Officer Royce Hearne of Fort Worth, Texas.
I never saw this episode before. Officer Hearne stops to check on a parked car and finds a guy with his ex-wife and small child in the backseat. The dude has his pants off and as the officer puts it is "getting his jollies in front of the kid."

Damn it. The weather was so nice yesterday I had the windows open while I was cleaning and
today we have a winter weather advisory for blowing and drifting snow. GUH.

I spent about 6 hours cleaning house yesterday for my mother-in-law. It wasn't TOO bad but it was time consuming trying to clean everything in one day. And why in God's name do old people always smell like URINE???

While I was cleaning in the basement, I noticed my father-in-law had jars and jars of loose change. He also had a HUGE stack of penny packers, which I needed badly. When he came downstairs, I took a handful and passed them to Mr. G. and said, "Put these in your pocket. I need some and I keep forgetting to get them at the bank." We got home and I was sorting my loose change to pack the pennies. I said to Mr. G, "Get this. Your dad put his name on some of these packers. Why in the world would he do that?!"
Mr. G said, "Oh, I don't know perhaps in case SOMEONE TRIED TO STEAL THEM."
I said, "Honey, people steal CHANGE. NO ONE in their right mind is going to STEAL the penny PACKERS."
He said, "How did YOU get the penny packers?"
I said, "I STOLE them. What's your pernt?"
Honestly, sometimes that man makes no sense.

My father-in-law has to have a heart catherization this morning. Apparently he has a blocked artery and they want to see how badly it's blocked. He had a blocked artery several years ago and since it wasn't 80% blocked, they left it alone. I'm wondering if they're not checking out the same artery again? With what little the man eats, I find it hard to believe he has ANY health problems of this nature. He never really did eat fatty or fried foods, and basically all he eats now is bananas, milk (don't ASK me why), tons of cereal and pierogis. My sister-in-law thinks that he's too weak at this point to have one, so she's going to think about what she wants to do. Mr. G has to work, but he told her if she has any doubts whatsoever that he's not strong enough, to postpone the test till Monday.

I was reading this article on MSN about how a guy can tell if a chick wants to date him. The four signs are: laughing hysterically at everything you say (that's true. I still do that), wanting to go out with you in the evenings because it makes it seem more 'date like'(don't know if I agree with that, I enjoyed breakfast and lunch 'dates'), body language (yeah when she shoves her naked tits in your face, that's fairly good proof she's interested), and direct eye contact. Giving direct eye contact for more than a few seconds is a come on? OMG. My optometrist has been coming on to me FOR YEARS!!
Ok, here are Goddess' Four Ways To Tell if a Chick Wants to Date You:
1. Every time you turn around she's there--at your home, your place of work, backseat of your locked car--oh wait, that's from Goddess' 'Four Ways to Tell if a Chick Wants to Stalk You" list.
1. she talks endlessly about the cute babies you'll make together--nooooo, that's from Goddess' Four Ways to Scare Away an Overly Persistent Guy.
1. Your ass crack reeks of Jack Daniels---hmmmm, no I think that's from Goddess' "Four Ways to Tell if You've Been Butt Fucked While You Were Passed OUt" list. Let's try one more time, shall we?
1. Boil potatoes, then dice. Dammit. That's from Goddess' Four Ways to Make Potato Salad.
Awww, fuck it.

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